


The Heart Wants What It Wants

by queenchenhun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Lies, M/M, Murder, Obsession, Read at Your Own Risk, Stalking, Suicide, This is really dark, fake identity
Language: Filipino
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28154358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenchenhun/pseuds/queenchenhun
Summary: Sehun is obsessed. Not with things or hobbies or food but with a person. Sehun is obsessed with a person.And that person is named Jongdae Kim.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 16
Kudos: 50





	1. PRE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first AO3 chaptered fic. I will add more trigger warnings as possible as the chapters unfold. 
> 
> READ. AT. YOUR. OWN. RISK.

"If you'll be given a chance to rewrite everything and change things from the past, will you still do what you did or are you going to change it?"

"No. I feel no remorse towards everything that I have done. Because you're here now. With me."


	2. CHAPTER 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1st kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read at your own risk.
> 
> Read at your own risk.
> 
> Read at your own risk.

“Jongdae, come on! Male-late na tayo sa Micro Economics class natin! Sa 5th floor pa yun!” tawag ni Hyejin kay Jongdae na nanatili ang tingin sa lalaking nabangga nya habang umaakyat sila sa hagdan. Jongdae was about to apologize pero mabilis na naglakad yung lalaki palayo. He doesn’t have the luxury of time para habulin yung lalaki para mag-sorry kaya naman hinayaan nya na lang. Hindi naman siguro magkaka-shoulder injury yung lalaki dahil sa pagkakabangga nya kahit na laging nagrereklamo si Hyejin na buto-buto na nga daw sya and if ever man na may mabubunggo sya ay paniguradong kakailanganin ng shoulder injury treatment.

Good thing wala pa yung professor nila dahil sira yata yung elevator na allotted for the professor only kaya naman she had to use the local elevator na gamit na gamit na ng mga students. He and Hyejin kind of celebrated pa nga dahil malapit na silang bumingo na dalawa sa dami ng lates nila sa subject na ito. Pano ba naman! Early Wednesday morning tapos sa 5th floor pa like tulog na tulog pa nga halos yung mga diwa nila, need na nilang bunuin yung limang palapag dahil everyday puno yung elevator.

“Pahirap talaga tong Prof na to sa atin ano? Grabe gusto ko lang naman pumasa at maka-graduate?” Hyejin whispered as she started opening the reading for today. Ganun din naman yung ginawa ni Jongdae kasi they are both sure na class recitation agad pagdating ni Miss Eugene. Jongdae nodded his head as a sign of agreement on what Hyejin said.

After their Micro Economics class ay dumiretso sila sa cafeteria to take their early lunch dahil dire-diretso na hanggang 5pm yung next classes nila which is Recuitment and Selection tapos Good Governance and Corporate Social Responsibility. Irregular kasi si ni Hyejin dahil pareho silang nag-shift from Accountancy to Human Resources Management samantalang most of their blockmates from BSA shifted to Psychology or Banking and Finance.

“Dae, are we going to the welcome party ba ng org for the first years?” tanong ni Hyejin bago sumipsip sa fresh milk na binili ni Jongdae kanina sa 7eleven pagbaba nya ng jeep. He glared at Hyejin kase inaalok nya kaniang bibilhan nya tapos ayaw tapos ngayon, makikiinom.

“Ay bakit? Freshie ka ba ha? Sophomore na tayo, hello?” Jongdae said. Luminga-linga sya dahil feeling nya ay may nakatingin sa kanya and hindi nya alam kung sino or kung nasaan ba yung nakatingin sa kanya. Basta it really feels weird dahil ramdam na ramdam ni Jongdae yung stares pero hindi nya talaga ma-pin point kung nasaan. Hindi naman kalakihan itong cafeteria pero bakit ang hirap hanapin?

“Jongdae Kim! Are you okay?” Hyejin asked dahil parang medyo troubled na yung itsura ni Jongdae. Hindi naman kasi ito yung first time na nangyari yung ganito. Nung first year sila ay takot na mag-isa si Jongdae na maglakad sa hallways ng Accountancy and Finance building dahil feeling nya ay maya’t-may ay may nakasunod lagi sa kanya at tumitingin.

In the end, Jongdae decided na sasamahan nya si Hyejin sa Freshie’s party dahil isa syang mabuting best friend. Friday evening naman yon na gaganapin sa function hall na malapit sa College of Business building. Another way na din yon to bond with their new classmates na mukhang mga mababait at mga harmless naman.

Natutuwa nga si Jongdae dahil welcomed na welcomed sila sa bago nilang course. Everyone is so accommodating and warm and welcoming kaya naman sinusuklian nila yun by helping the org in any way that they could. Sophomores na yung block section na kinabibilangan nila pero they have classes with the freshies dahil nga irreg students sila. And well, everyone is nice naman. Light lang yung atmosphere and honestly, hindi maramdaman ni Jongdae na may competition na involved. Kase parang wala naman.

Wednesday ngayon kaya naman after ng 2-5pm class nila ay niyaya sya ni Hyejin para mag-ukay ukay ng gagamitin nito sa Freshie’s party. Nawiwirduhan nga syang tiningna ni Jongdae dahil todo ayos itong si Hyejin kahit na hindi naman para sa kanila itong party. Sabi kasi ng class president nila na si Hani, welcome naman ang lahat ng members ng org sa event as long as walang classes na iiskip or matatamaan. And since hanggang 2pm lang naman ang class nila pag Friday, pumayag na si Jongdae na samahan na um-awra itong best friend nya.

\--

Jongdae is being held by Hyejin on his right hand habang nanonood sila ng performances ng mga banda for the Battle of the Bands. According to Hani, hanggang 11pm daw itong event and may food na available sa may entrance. Ipakita lang daw yung org id para makakuha kaya naman kanina pa higit ng higit si Jongdae kay Hyejin para kumuha ng food pero parang hindi ata nakakaramdam ng gutom itong bestfriend nya. Samantalang si Jongdae ay gutom na gutom na.

“Hye, gutom na ko. Kuha na tayo ng food! Maririnig mo pa din naman sila kahit nasa may entrance tayo.” Jongdae whispered on Hyejin’s ear. Buti pumayag na si Hyejin and after their getting their food, they settled on an empty group of chairs outside the function hall. May mangilan-ngilang students doon and most of them are eating dahil hindi nga naman sila makakapag-focus na kumain kung nandun sila sa loob.

Patapos na silang kumain ni Hyejin when a group of seniors sat in front of them. Dalawa sa kanila ay pinagitnaan si Hyejin tapos ang isa naman ay tumabi kay Jongdae. And dun palang, naramdaman nya baka may hindi magandang mangyayari.

“Uh, mga kuya, babalik na po muna kami sa loob. Hehe see you around na lang po.” magalang na sabi ni Hyejin. Tumayo na sya para umalis pero one of the seniors got a hold of her hand kaya naman nahila syang pabalik. Jongdae tried to stand too pero mabilis syang naakbayan nung isang senior.

They are all reeking with alcohol and hindi alam ni Jongdae kung allowed ba ang maglasing sa event dahil nasa loob pa din naman sila ng school properties. Sinubukan ni Jongdae na alisin yung pagkakaakbay nung isang senior nila pero malakas ito at lasing kaya wala din syang nagawa kundi ilayo na lang yung mukha nya dahil the said senior is trying to kiss him on his cheek. Puta, kadiri!

Tiningnan nya si Hyejin na sobrang uncomfortable na dahil na napapagitnaan sya ng dalawang seniors nila kaya naman Jongdae tried to yell and ask for help pero it’s useless dahil masyado nang maingay sa buong paligid at sila na lang din ang naiwan sa labas ng function hall.

“Initiation rites lang, shiftees. Trabaho lang, walang personalan.” One of them said. Jongdae is ready to punch the hell out of this bastard nang bigla itong bumulagta sa lupa. His face is facing the ground samantalang may lalaking naka-itim na baseball cap ang naglalakad palayo sa kanila. 

Walang sinayang na oras si Jongdae. Hinila nya agad si Hyejin papasok sa loob ng function hall, papunta sa classmates nila. The both of them are panting kaya naman napansin sila ni Hani at Yebin.

“Anong nangyari sa inyo? Okay lang ba kayo?” tanong ni Hani. Nagkatinginan sila ni Hyejin at sabay na tumango. Sa org president nilang si Taeyeon isusumbong kung ano man yung nangyari sa kanila kanina.

\--

Magdadalwang linggo na makalipas yung welcome party. Yung seniors na nambastos sa kanilang dalwa ay suspended for a month, as per Taeyeon’s request sa Dean ng College of Business dahil sa dami ng rules na nilabag ng mga ito. Nakahingan naman ng maluwag si Jongdae dahil doon. He keeps on checking on Hyejin dahil baka nagkaroon sya ng trauma sa nangyari pero Hyejin seems fine naman.

“Jongdae! Putangina!” Hyejin rushed to him na nandito sa malapit sa cafeteria para magpalipas ng oras dahil Thursday ngayon at mamaya pang 2pm ang susunod na class nila. Hingal na hingal si Hyejin bago naupo sa tabi ni Jongdae kaya naman inabutan nya ito ng bottled water.

“Bakit? May nangyari ba sayo?” tanong naman ni Jongdae. Umiling naman si Hyejin. “Eh napano ka? Bat ka kasi nanakbo eh ala una pa lang naman. 2pm pa ang next class. Bangag ka ba?” inirapan sya ni Hyejin bago muling nagsalita.

“Jongdae, gago. Naalala mo ba yung mga seniors dun sa ano?” bulong ni Hyejin sa kanya. Parang bigla ay finocus ni Jongdae yung buong attention nya sa matalik na kaibigan dahil naku-curious sya sa kung ano mang sasabihin nito.

“Oh ano sa kanila? Suspended sila ah. Buti nga. Mga gago ang mga putangina.” Jongdae said in a low voice and he made sure na walang nakarinig sa kanya.

“Tanga, Jongdae. Kakakita ko lang dun sa facebook group ng org. Nag-suicide yung isa sa kanila. Specifically yung nambastos sayo.” Bulong ni Hyejin. Gulat na gulat naman si Jongdae sa narinig nya.

“Puta?” yun na lang ang tanginang nasabi ni Jongdae dahil hindi naman kung anong dapat sabihin. He never wished that something bad should happen to them to teach them a lesson. He never wished ill towards someone.

“Oo. Gago. Naglaslas daw. Tapos patay na nung nakita nung mga magulang sa condo unit kaninang umaga.” Kwento pa ni Hyejin. “Tangina kinilabutan ako.” 

Kung kinilabutan si Hyejin, ay mas lalo naman si Jongdae. Wala naman sigurong kinalaman sa kanya yung rason kung bakit nagpakamatay yung senior nila na yun, ano?

\--------

Not far from where Jongdae and Hyejin sits, a cold pair of eyes focused on Jongdae’s face. The owner smiled when Jongdae smiled.

“No can touch you without your permission, my love.”


	3. CHAPTER 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!

**Chapter 2**

**“Maldita** talaga yang mga katrabaho mo ano?! Like wala ka namang ginagawa sa kanila pero sila itong ang lalakas ng mga loob na gawan ka ng issue! Pero buti nga kase suspended silang mga bilat sila!” naghihimutok sa inis si Hyejin matapos ikwento ni Jongdae yung tungkol sa nangyari kahapon sa opisina nila. Pare-parehas kasi silang napatawag sa HR kahit na taga-HR department mismo si Jongdae dahil two of his officemates are accusing him of having a relationship with their boss.

Sa isang malaking Construction Company somewhere in Makati kasi nagtatrabaho si Jongdae and he got hired more than a year ago, immediately after his college graduation. Dapat sana ay magiging magkatrabaho sila ni Hyejin sa Pasay but mas ginusto nya dito dahil mas mas malaki ang offer while Hyejin chose to be in Pasay dahil mas malapit daw sa lahat.

Of course, pinabulaanan ni Jongdae yung paratang sa kanya pero the two were spreading false accusations within their office kaya naman they confronted them and it resulted in a catfight, in which, pinagtulungan si Jongdae ng dalawa. Kitang-kita iyon sa cctv video galing sa cafeteria ng building where it happened kaya naman the two women were suspended for 20 days.

Of course, their boss explained to everyone na Jongdae looks like his only son who lives in Palawan now with his children and he misses him that’s why he’s fond of seeing Jongdae. According to the other heads, malaki nga daw talaga ang pagkakahawig nya sa anak ni Mr. De Angeles, the CEO of the company. Jongdae is suspended too, pero only for three days.

Kaya naman nandito sila ni Hyejin ngayon sa apartment na inuupahan nya, dito Las Pinas. Medyo malayo sa office pero keri naman since may company service naman na provided. Isa din yun sa reason kung bakit pinili ni Jongdae yung company na yun.

“Nakwento mo na ba to kay Rob?” tanong ni Hyejin sa kanya. Umiling naman si Jongdae. His boyfriend doesn’t need to know things like this. Isa pa, Rob is a busy man kaya naman Jongdae chose not disclose this to him dahil baka mag-alala pa ito.

“Why wouldn’t you tell him? Jongdae those two girls harassed you! You showed the video kaya! Ano ba naman yang boyfriend mo?! Does he even know na you’re suspended and currentlu in your apartment right now?!” natatawang umiling si Jongdae. As what he said, Rob is a busy man and he doesn’t need to know this. Hindi naman ito big deal para sa kanilang dalawa. Hyejin is just over-reacting on things.

“Hyejin, Rob is in Iloilo for a business trip. Busy yung tao tsaka pagbalik nya dito next week, magkikita naman kami.” He said. Tumayo na si Jongdae mula sa couch na kinauupuan nya to look for something to cook since mago-overnight si Hyejin dito.

“Alam mo, Jongdae, mabibilang ko lang yata sa kamay ko yung times na nag-date kayo, for real, nyang Rob na yan. Kung hindi mo yan pinakilala sakin in person, iisipin ko, delusional ka lang.” iritadong sabi ni Hyejin. Hindi naman kase unfamiliar sa kanya na Hyejin disapproves of Rob ever since. She even said na ang dami naman daw bakit yun pa. Pero kasi, Jongdae is in love with kaya naman when Rob asked him to be his boyfriend, last year, of course hindi na sya tumanggi pa.

Rob is a good catch naman kasi. He came from a good family, has a stable job and isa pa, he is nice and well-mannered. Hindi naman na sya lugi when it comes to him. And isa pa, they already have plans on getting married. Gusto na nya, that’s why he opened it up with him and he said na pagbalik nito galing Iloilo ay pag-uusapan na nila yung magiging kasal.

“Hyejin, chill ka lang nga. Bakit ba ang init-init ng ulo mo ngayon?” tanong ni Jongdae after nyang isalang yung pasta sa boiling water para sa carbonara na iluluto nya. Hyejin sat on the empty chair across the dining table tapos ay nagsalin ng cranberry juice sa baso nito.

“Ewan ko, Jongdae. Naiirita talaga ako kapag pinag-uusapan yang boyfriend mong laging missing in action. Tapos you told me last night na may balak na kayong magpakasal? Paanong hindi iinit ang ulo ko? Ni hindi mo nga madala-dala kita Tita Yeonseo yang lalaking yan dahil ang sinasabi mo, laging busy tapos gugustuhin mong pakasalan? My god, Jongdae. You are stressing all the hell out of me.” Mahabang litanya ni Hyejin that mad Jongdae laugh a little bit. “Wag mo nga akong tawanan.”

After nilang kumain ni Hyejin ay nagyaya ito ng Netflix marathon in which Jongdae agreed dahil may bagong release na Netflix series ngayon based sa trailer na nakita nya, it’s exciting. The two of them were sprawled on the couch while eating on some chips as the shows rolls nang biglang magsalita si Hyejin.

“Pero seriously, Jongdae. Isipin mo muna yung decision mong pagpapakasal. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. And isa pa, we’re just 25. Hello? Too young para itali.” She said. Humilig si Jongdae sa balikat ni Hyejin.

“Hye, sigurado na ako sa kanya.” Mahinang sabi ni Jongdae but still loud enough for his best friend to hear. She blew na exasperated breathe because of what he said. Tila ba masyado itong disappointed sa sinabi nya. But what he just said is true. Sigurado na sya kay Rob.

“Sya ba, sigurado na sayo?”

\-----------

Jongdae went back to the company after three days na parang walang nangyari. Everyone greeted him with a smile. Yung katabing cubicle nga nya na si Chaeyeon ay yumakap pa sa kanya dahil wala daw itong nakachikahan at kasabayan maglunch nung suspended sya.

“Huy, nakita mo ba? May gwapong nilalang na naligaw dito kanina! Kasama ni CEO! Sabi ni Miss Dara kanina, yun daw ata yung financial accountant ng CEO natin. Ay baks, ang gwapo nya. Tapos ang tangkad! Grabe. Luluhudan ko yon.” Tumawa naman si Jongdae sa sinabi ng officemate nya. Sanay na kasi sya sa pagiging blunt at makalat ni Chaeyeon kaya tinatawanan nya na lang yung mga kabastusang sinasabi nito.

“Taken ako, Chae. Ano ka ba?” he said. “Pero kung crush mo, nakuha mo ba ang name?” he asked. Chaeyeon grinned at him. Of course? Si Chaeyeon pa ba?

“He’s Oh Sehun. Korean. And schoolmates kayo! Tell me, hindi mo ba sya kilala? Kase kung magkakilala kayo, ipakilala mo ako. Grabe Jongdae! He’s so freaking handsome and very matangkad! Very, very my type!” she exclaimed. Tumawa lang naman si Jongdae dahil hindi nya kilala si Sehun even though schoolmates sila pero his name is familiar naman. Para kasing nabanggit na sya dati ni Hyejin pero hindi lang sya kung katunog lang ba or something.

“I’m sorry, Chae. Hindi eh. Pero parang familiar lang.” Yun na ang naging sagot ni Jongdae kaya naman tinigilan na sya ni Chaeyeon and they both started working.

Nang pauwi na si Jongdae ay nakasabay pa nilang dalawa si Oh Sehun sa elevator kaya naman halos hindi mapagsidlan yung kilig ni Chaeyeon dahil doon. Bugbog nga yung braso ni Jongdae dahil sa mga kurot at hampas.

“Dae! Grabe! Ang gwapo-gwapo nya and ang bango din!” Chaeyeon immediately said paglabas nila ng building. Natawa na lang si Jongdae. Hindi sya maka-relate dahil busy sya mag-compose ng reply para sa boyfriend nya kanina habang nasa elevator silang dalawa.

“Don’t tell me, inamoy mo sya?!” gulat na tanong ni Jongdae followed by a loud laugh. Inirapan naman sya ni Chaeyeon sabay sabi ng ‘Of course!’ with matching irap pa.

“Duh! It’s an opportunity kaya! So I have to grab it!”

\----------------------

It’s already been a week nang huling makita nila si Oh Sehun kaya naman nung nakita ulit nila ito kanina sa elevator ay tuwang-tuwa na naman si Chaeyeon. Not to be a party-popper pero sa kaka-Sehun ni Chaeyeon ay gusto na lang tuloy syang plasteran ni Jongdae sa bunganga.

Aside from Chaeyeon’s non-stop mumbling about Oh Sehun ay wala namang naging bago sa daily corporate slave life ni Jongdae. Pero bago matapos ang araw na iyon ay may nakakagulat na balita ang sumalubong sa kanilang lahat.

“Fuck. Totoo ba?!” gulat na gulat si Jongdae mula sa narinig nilang lahat sa head ng Human Resources department na si Miss Dara. Nanlamig din sya dahil doon.

“Yes, Jongdae. The two women whom you got into a fight week almost two weeks ago, committed suicide. Last night.” Miss Dara confirmed.

Ramdam ni Jongdae yung panlalamig ng mga kamay nya at pagtaas ng kanyang mga balahibo kaya naman agad syang niyakap ni Chaeyeon. Takot na takot si Jongdae. Kaya naman ang bilis bilis din ng tibok ng puso nya.

Anong nangyari? Bakit nagkaganoon? Wala naman syang ginawa. And isa pa, matatapos na ang 20-day suspension ng dalawa! Kaya bakit nila gugustuhin na magpakamatay?!

“Mr. Jongdae Kim, you are invited for some questioning at the precinct.”

Jongdae answered every question the detective has thrown him. Wala syang kinalaman sa pagkamatay ng dalawang iyon. His alibis checks in. The two women were found in their apartments, drenched in blood. Samantalang, ni hindi nga nya alam kung saan nakatira yung dalawang yung and he just know their name dahil magkakaibang departments sila.

Si Hyejin na ang sumundo kay Jongdae mula sa presinto. His best friend immediately enveloped him in a tight hug pagkakita nito sa kanya.

“Are you okay?” marahang tumango si Jongdae.

“Pero natatakot ako, Hyejin.”

\--------------------------

He smirks as he sees the news about the two women who were found dead inside their apartments, drenching in their blood. He can still remember their names and their cries as he takes their lives away. No one can lay a hand on him and gets away with it.

No one.


	4. CHAPTER 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stolen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate kudos and comments :) 
> 
> READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone!

**Masayang** naglalakad si Jongdae paakyat sa unit nya habang nakatingin sa promise ring na nasa kanyang palasingsingan. Dahil finally, Rob proposed to him! Last night. Out of the blue lang habang pauwi sila galing ng Batangas dahil sinama sya ni Rob sa family dinner ng family nito.

Natulala pa nga for a moment si Jongdae after Rob popped the million-dollar question but of course, he said yes!! Ang tagal-tagal nyang hinintay yung pagkakataon na yun! Finally, after almost a year of being boyfriends. Of course, nung nakita ni Hyejin yung singsing na nasa kamay nya ay sumimangot agad ito. And she immediately said na kung kukunin daw syang Maid-of-Honor ay hindi sya papayag.

Jongdae is taking the stairs dahil out of order yung elevator and according to the maintenance team, baka raw bukas pa maayos yung elevator nila. Okay lang naman sa kanya though kase sa third floor lang naman yung unit nya sa apartment complex nila. Exercise na din to since hindi na sya nakakapag-jogging pag weekend mornings dahil natatakot sya.

Ever since kase nung nag-suicide yung mga nakaaway ni Jongdae ay ramdam nyang parang may sumusunod na sa kanya. Ganitong-ganito yung nararamdaman nya nung college pa sila. Yung pakiramdam ng may sumusunod pero wala naman. Yung parang may nakatingin sa likod nya pero pag nilingon nya ay wala naman syang makikita.

Walang pinagsasabihan si Jongdae tungkol dito. Kahit pa si Hyejin or si Rob dahil natatakot sya sa pwedeng mangyari sa kanya at maging doon sa dalawa. Hindi rin naman sya makapag-sumbong sa awtoridad dahil wala naman syang hawak na ebidensya na magpapatunay na someone is stalking him. Isa pa, sino namang gagawa nun diba? He’s not a beautiful woman to be stalked. He’s just an ordinary corporate slave who’s just working on a huge company, nothing else.

Jongdae immediately closed and locked the doors pagpasok nya dahil ramdam na ramdam nya talagang may sumusunod sa kanya habang binabaybay nya ang staircase ng apartment complex. He even double-checked the locked before settling down dahil sa takot nya. And when he was finally satisfied ay saka lang sya naupo sa couch para makapag-pahinga.

He then sent a message to his fiancé informing him na nakauwi na sya and he will sleep already after taking a bath. Nagreply naman si Rob ng ‘Good night, babe. I love you.’ and of course, Jongdae’s heart fluttered as he composes a reply for him. Ilang minuto pa ngang tinitigan ni Jongdae yung wallpaper nya na kuha last time nung pumunta sila ng Tagaytay for their 17th monthsary. It was a selfie and it was an unexpected one. Kinuha ni Rob yung phone nya and biglang pinindot yung camera.

Before he went to sleep ay nag-usap muna sila ni Hyejin about sa kasal nila ni Rob. Hyejin made him rethink his life decisions kahit na sigurado naman na sya sa mga naging desisyon nya sa buhay. Marrying Rob is his dream. Wala syang pagsisisihan kung magpapakasal man silang dalawa.

Kinabukasan maagang pumasok si Jongdae.

Another day only means another suffering from Chaeyeon’s nonstop blabbering about his crush on Oh Sehun, their CEO’s personal accountant. It’s been months na yung pagkaka-crush ni Chaeyeon kay Oh Sehun kaya it’s been months na din na puro Oh Sehun yung sinasabi nya. Kesyo daw nakita nya kanina sa elevator and bango-bango daw, ganon-ganon. Gwapo naman kase si Oh Sehun, yes. Wala naman syang masasabi on that department. Pero kasi, nakakasawa naman kasi si Chaeyeon kase as in every day. Ganon.

Wala namang kakaibang nangyari sa araw nya aside sa ramdam na naman ni Jongdae na may sumusunod sa kanya habang naglalakad sya sa hallway ng floor nila. So agad na tumakbo si Jongdae papunta sa unit nya and just like last night, he double checked the looks before settling down. And checked it again before he went to sleep.

\----------------

“Babe, where do you prefer? San Fernando or Baler?” tanong ni Rob sa kanya. Nandito kasi sila sa isang café to meet their wedding planner kaya naman kasalukuyan na silang namimili kung saan ang magiging venue ng kasal nila. Jongdae wanted a beach wedding kaya naman Rob made him choose between San Fernando, La Union or Baler, Aurora.

Pareho naman na nilang napuntahan yung mga choices and parehong maganda kaya naman nahihirapan si Jongdae mamili. Magbibigay din kase ng list ng resorts na pwedeng pagpilian yung wedding planner nila so makakapag-decide sila ng maayos sa pipiliing venue.

Pagdating ng mga wedding planners nila na recommended pa ng family friend ni Rob na si Alisha, na nakilala ni Jongdae dun sa family event nila, ay nagsimula na yung planning. Si Jongdae ang pumili ng theme and motif pati na din yung mga bulaklak na gagamitin sa decorations habang si Rob yung namili ng food and yung nagdecide ng kung gaano kadaming guests ang iimbitahin nila.

As for the cake flavor, they both settled on a four-layered red velvet and chocolate cake. Red velvet yung flavors nung first two upper tiers while the lower two’s will be chocolate. And it will be decorated with edible flowers and edible gold.

Hindi din naman nagtagal yung meeting nila dahil may pupuntahan pa silang dalawa. Binyag kase nung 3 month old na anak ni Alisha and Rob is chosen as a god-father. Hindi na nga sila umabot sa misa dahil they met with their wedding planers kaya sa reception na lang sila humabol.

Ang cute-cute nung baby girl. Kamukhang-kamukha nung mother nya. Habang hawak ni Rob yung baby ay napapaisip din si Jongdae kung magiging best dad din ba si Rob sa magiging mga anak nila. Well, he had himself checked kasi last month, just what he expected, he’s a carrier. It means, he can have babies. Hindi nila need na mag-adopt dahil kayang magbuntis ni Jongde.

Nang medyo gumabi na ay nagyaya nang umuwi si Jongdae pero since close family friend nga si Alisha, he decided na magpahatid na lang kay Rob sa apartment nya and balik na lang ito sa reception ng binyag after syang maihatid. Pumayag naman ang fiancé nya. Nagpababa na lang si Jongdae sa may apartment complex nya. Hindi na sya nagpahatid pa hanggang sa unit nya dahil baka ma-traffic pa si Rob pabalik.

Th elevator was about to close nung may nakitang lalaking palapit si Jongdae kaya naman he held the door since sya lang naman yung nasa loob ng elevator. The guy is tall, like 6 feet-tall. Nanliit kasi bigla si Jongdae nang makita nya ang reflection nilang dalawa sa loob ng elevator. He was subtly looking for the guy’s face dahil magka-floor pala sila but then he’s wearing a black mask and a pair of nerdy-looking eyeglasses. Hindi naman sya kinausap nung lalaki kaya nanahimik na lang si Jongdae. Pero ramdam nya yung mga tingin nito.

Sabay silang bumaba na dalawa. And dun nya nalaman na sa unit na katapat nya nakatira yung lalaki. Babatiin pa nga sana ni Jongdae yung lalaki pero hindi nya naabutan dahil nauna na itong pumasok sa unit.

“Hmp. Suplado. Di man lang bumati magkapit-bahay lang naman kami. Grabe.” He murmured as he locks his doors.

\------------

“Hindi ka na ba mapipigilan ha? Final answer na ba talaga yang Rob na yan, Jongdae Kim?” tanong ni Hyejin pagkabigay nya ng wedding invitation nila. Dumayo pa sya sa condo ni Hyejin sa Pasay dahil masyado itong busy to meet him eh sakto namang naka-off si Jongdae so pinuntahan nya na lang. Tumawa na lang si Jongdae dahil sa sinabi ngbest friend nya.

“May wedding invitation na, Hye. What made you think na hindi pa final ito?” natatawa nyang tanong. Inirapan sya ni Hyejin bago kumagat sa chickenjoy na pinabili nya kay Jongdae. “Pag hindi ako um-attend, walang sisihan ha. Ayoko talaga dyan sa lalaking yan. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya eversince. Tsaka ang tagal ko nang sinasabi sayo kaya na masyadong mabilis yung pagpapakasal nyong dalawa! More than a year palang kayong mag-boyfriend tapos ni hindi pa nga kayo nagsasama sa iisang bubong! Jongdae what if may anger management issues pala yan!”

Naupo si Jongdae sa couch bago sumimsim sa large coke float. Wirdo syang tumingin kay Hyejin na kain pa din ng kain hanggang ngayon bago nagsalita.

“Hyejin, nakilala na din naman sya nila Mama. And pumayag na din sila. They like him for me. Ikaw lang talaga ang kontrabida sa love story naming dalawa. Daig mo pa si Evil Queen at Maleficent eh.” Biro ni Jongdae kaya naman irap ang natanggap nya mula sa matalik na kaibigan.

“Ah basta! Hindi pa rin ako panatag sa kanya, Jongdae. I will keep on hoping and praying na sana matauhan ka para hindi matuloy ang kasal nyo. Or sana may pumigil!” she said. Jongdae just shook his head.

“Hyejin naman!”

\----------------

“Rob! Ano ba! Are you just gonna let Aluna become your dirty secret?! Anak natin, sya Rob! Anak nating dalawa!” sigaw ni Alisha. Nandito silang dalawa ngayon sa study room dahil hindi sya papayag na hindi nya makakausap ang ama ng anak nya.

“Alisha, magpapakasal na kaming dalawa ni Jongdae. Please. What happened to us was a mistake.” Rob said, avoiding Alisha’s intense glares. The woman snorted bago sinampal ang kausap. The sound of Rob’s face getting slapped echoed in the whole room.

“How dare you!? Gusto mong magmalinis?! What happened to us wasn’t a mistake, Robyn! Nilapitan mo ako sa bar when we were in Iloilo! We got drunk and then we had unprotected sex sa hotel room mo! Anong ine-expect mong makukuha natin, after?! Flat screen tv?!” Alisha yelled. Anger is evident on her pretty face. Nagagalit sya sa ama ng anak nya and at the same time sa lalaking papakasalan nito. Dahil sa kanya, mawawalan ng daddy si Aluna!

“Ali, please. Pumayag akong maging ninong ni Aluna because you promised that you’ll stay away after her Christening. Ali, magkaibigan tayo. Don’t do this me. Isang linggo na lang ay ikakasal na kami! Mahal ko si Jongdae.” Rob said. Alisha crossed her arms in front of her chest bago inirapan si Rob.

“Mahal mo sya but you cheated on him. It’s not love, Robyn. Kase kung mahal mo sya, kahit lasing ka ay hindi ka makikipag-sex sa akin.” She spited. Nagsimulang maglakad palayo si Alisha ngunit humabol si Rob sa kanya at hinawakan ang kanyang braso.

“Ali, please. Don’t. I’m begging you.”

“Too late, Rob. I’m going to tell your fiancé about us and if he decided to stay with you, then kami ni Aluna ang lalayo. Pero kung hindi naman ay papakasalan mo ako at ibibigay mo ang pangalan mo kay Aluna. I don’t want my daughter to grow up as a bastard.” Inalis nya ang kamay ni Robyn na nakahawak sa braso nya bago lumabas ng pinto.

\-------------

Apat na araw na lang ay ikakasal na si Jongdae. Excitement is etched on his face. Halos hindi na nga sya nakatulog kagabi sa kakaisip. Ngayon kasi ay papunta na sya ng Baler. Hiniram nya muna yung isang sasakyan sa bahay nila para sya na lang ang magda-drive. Si Hyejin kase ay sasabay sa parents nila sa susunod na araw pa pupunta since may work pa sya.

Paalis na si Jongdae and he’s just double checking his whole unit kung nabunot nya ba yung mga nakasaksak at kung naka-off ba ang mga ilaw naka-lock ang mga bintana. And when he’s done, he grabbed his luggage and opened the doors.

While he’s locking his doors, naramdaman ni Jongdae na may lumapit sa kanya. He was about to turn para tingnan kung sino iyon pero huli na dahil magtakip ng panyo sa bibig nya. Napahawak si Jongdae sa doorknob dahil nararamdaman nya nang pagkahilo hanggang sa unti-unting pagpikit ng kanyang mga mata.

\--------------

“Hyejin, anak, na-contact mo na ba si Jongdae?” tanong ng ina ni Jongdae na si Yeonseo kay Hyejin. Magda-dalawang araw na kasing hindi nagtetext man lang si Jongdae sa kanya or kahit sa kapatid or papa nito. Ang huling usap pa nila ay yung umagang bago umalis papuntang Baler si Jongdae. At syempre, bilang ina ay nag-aalala na sya.

“Tita, hindi nga din po sya nagrereply sa akin eh. Gusto nyo po bang daanan muna natin sa apartment nya? Or gusto nyo pong puntahan ko ngayon? Dala ko naman po yung sasakyan ko eh.” Alok ni Hyejin. Nagtataka na din kase sya dahil hindi sumasagot si Jongdae sa mga tawag nya at lahat ng messages ay delivered lang.

“Hyejin anak, pagabi na. Luluwas ka pa, Manila. Baka ma-traffic ka sa SLEX.” Sabi ni Tita Yeonseo. Taga-Laguna kasi originally sila Jongdae kaya sa Makati ito naga-apartment para malapit lang sa office.

“Okay lang po, Tita.”

“Isama mo na si Jongin. Para may kasama ka man lang.” Tita Yeonseo said pertaining to Jongdae’s younger brothe, Jongin.

Hyejin was given a spare key sa apartment ni Jongdae kaya naman mabilis silang nakapasok sa loob. They both scanned the whole room pero wala silang nakitang bakas ni Jongdae. Pero may nakita silang puting envelope na nakadikit sa ref gamit yung ref magnet na bigay ni Hyejin from Ilocos.

The white envelope has a letter inside at kilalang-kilala ni Hyejin kung kanino galing ang sulat-kamay na iyon.

**_‘I’m cancelling the wedding. Please tell Rob that I’m sorry. And please don’t find me. – Jongdae.’_ **

****

****

“Ate Hye, kuya left.” Sabi ni Jongin.

“Jongin, he did. And hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong malungkot na hindi man lang nagpaalam si Jongdae sa atin.”

\------------

“Sino ka?! Saan mo ako dadalhin!” Jongdae screamed as he sees the man on the steering wheel. Nasa backseat sya at naka-seatbelt while both of his hands and feet are tied. Pero hindi naman masyadong mahigpit ang pagkakatali sa kanya. “Pakawalan mo ako, please. Magkano ba ang ransom na kailangan mo?!”

Pero hindi sumagot ang lalaking nagmamaneho. Jongdae stopped from shedding a tear. Kung mas natatakot sya ay mas lalong matutuwa ang kidnapper. He needs to find a way to get out of this car! Hindi nya alam kung anong araw na ngayon. Basta nagising na lang sya kanina na nandito na sa loob ng sasakyan. Hindi nya rin alam kung nasaan na sila.

“Please let me go…” pagmamakaaawa ni Jongdae ngunit tila bingi at walang naririnig ang lalaki. Ni hindi man lang nga sya nito magawang tingnan.

Jongdae felt hopeless. Habang nakikita nya ang mga puno sa paligid ay mas lalo syang nawawalan ng pag-asa. He needs to call someone. Sigurado namang hihinto sila hindi diba? And pag huminto sila, he will grab that chance to escape! Whatever happens, he has to escape!

At hindi nga nagkamali si Jongdae. Bago gumabi ay huminto sila sa tabi ng daan, sa lugar na hindi nya alam, para kumain. Hindi nya makilala kung sino yung lalaki dahil naka-mask ito but his pair of eyes are familiar. Parang nakita na ito ni Jongdae somewhere. Pero hindi maalala kung saan.

As soon as the man cuts his ties, Jongdae kicked him on the face and got out of the car. He ran and ran towards the opposite direction from where they are heading, away from his kidnapper. Hindi nya alam kung hanggang saan syang tatakbo dahil paglingon nya ay kitang-kita nya nang sumusunod na sa kanya yung sasakyan.

He tried crying for help but it’s useless. Walang ibang dumadaang kotse at walang mga malapit na kabahayan.

Panay lingon si Jongdae kung malapit na bas yang maabutan ng kidnapper nya kaya naman hindi nya napapansin yung malubak na daan na tadtad ng malalaking mga bato.

“Lord, please. Help me.” He cried.

Sa katatakbo ni Jongdae ay hindi napansin yung maliliit na batong natapakan nya kaya sya natalisod. Tumama ang ulo nya sa isang malaking bato na sa harapan nya. He can feel the immense pain because of the impact. He tried so hard to get up and ran but then dizziness already took over him. His face is already covered with blood.

His eyes are nearly closing when heard is a car stopping in front of him and its headlights is blinding his eyes. Did someone saw him running away? Did help finally arrive?

“Help me….” He muttered before he felt someone lifted him up.

And then everything turned black.


	5. CHAPTER 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of something unreal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but i'm really motivated on writing and finishing this one. Hehe. i think it's because of the theme? it's quite unusual on the genre that i'm writing. hehe. anyways, here's chapter 4!! 
> 
> READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

**Jongdae** woke up with bright lights blinding his line of sight. Dahan-dahan syang naupo bago iginala ang paningin nya. The white interior the place he is in is making his head feel light and dizzy. He tried to get up and stand but he was stopped with something connected on his arm. And that’s where he realize where he is right now.

“What am I doing here?” he asked himself and then looking around, maybe looking for someone to give him an answer. Pero walang sumagot sa kanya. Jongdae tried remembering what happened before he woke up inside a hospital suite but all he can remember was his college graduation. Hyejin! His best friend, Hyejin! He should look for her if he wants some answers. Kaya naman sinubukan ulit ni Jongdae na tumayo and he aggressively removed those things connected to him.

“Love! What are you doing?!” an unfamiliar voice made Jongdae stop on his tracks. Pagtingin nya ay may lalaking nakatayo sa may pinto ng hospital suite nya and may kasama itong lalaking doctor. Agad na lumapit ang lalaki kay Jongdae but he immediately swatted the stranger away. Agad na itinulak ni Jongdae palayo ang lalaki na nagtangkang yumakap sa kanya.

“Sino ka?” tanong ni Jongdae.

Kitang-kita nya ang pag-rehistro ng lungkot sa mukha ng lalaki. Kaya naman biglang napaisip si Jongdae. he tried so hard to remember who the man was but wala talaga syang maalala tungkol sa lalaki. The man then turned to the doctor.

“Doc, what happened?” the man asked. Natuon ang atensyon ni Jongdae sa doctor. Nag-iintay sa kung anong maaring sabihin nito.

“I have a hunch in my mind but let me conduct a few more tests to your husband, Sehun. After I got the results, I will immediately inform. Maybe this afternoon.” The doctor said. And the he proceeded on checking Jongdae’s vitals.

Pag-alis ng doctor ay agad na lumapit kay Jongdae yung lalaking nagngangalang Sehun. He tried hugging him pero agad syang itinulak ni Jongdae, fearing for himself because of the stranger in front of him. Nakatingin lang si Jongdae sa lalaki nang lumapit ulit ito para hawakan ang kamay nya na agad nya namang binawi.

“Who are you? Why am in a hospital? Nasan si Mommy ko?” Jongdae consecutively asked. Pagod na naupo yung lalaki sa upuan malapit sa hospital bed nya bago hinilot ang sentindo nito. “Sabihin mo sa akin kung sino ka!” Jongdae repeated in a more agitated voice.

“Jongdae, I’m Sehun. I’m your husband.”

Shock is written on Jongdae’s face. He stared at him for a minute before shaking his head. No. It can’t be. He can’t be married. He just graduated from college! This Sehun is obviously lying! He can’t be married?! Marahang natawa si Jongdae dahil sa sinabi ni Sehun.

“Sehun, whoever you are, I can’t be married to you. Kaka-graduate ko lang ng college.” He said followed by a short laugh. Lumapit si Sehun at muling humawak sa kamay ni Jongdae. “Please, if you’re just joking, this is not a good joke.” Naramdaman ni Jongdae ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Sehun sa kamay nya bago ito hinalikan.

“Love, you’re not 22 years old anymore. You’re already 28. I’m Sehun Oh. I’m your husband. And we’re married for three years already, love.”

\-------------

Jongdae has a retrograde amnesia. He just remembers things from 6 years ago. And he just woke up 2 weeks after the accident.

That’s what the doctor told him that night when he came back to his hospital suite. And he can only remember things from six years ago. He doesn’t remember who Sehun is. And what’s his relation to him. The latter told him that he’s his husband but Jongdae is doubtful. Hindi sya sigurado kung papaniwalaan nya ba ang mga sinabi ni Sehun dahil wala syang kahit anong nararamdaman para dito. Diba nga sabi kahit daw nakalimutan ng isip, makikilala ng puso? Pero bakit wala syang maramdaman na ganoon kay Sehun?

Sehun left for a while para bumili ng pagkain that’s why Jongdae busied himself reading a book na iniwan ni Sehun para sa kanya. He then glanced at his phone that was also given to him. Nanatili ang tingin nya sa lockscreen. It was a hand, hindi nya alam kung kaninong kamay iyon pero the hand is wearing a wedding band. Could it be his? Could be Sehun’s?

Walang masyadong laman yung phone nya. According to Sehun, pina-reformat nya daw ito dahil nagkaroon ng virus. So the only contact he had was Sehun’s. Jongdae tried remembering kung ano yung ginagawa nung mga napapanood nya noon sa dramas na may amnesia. He remembered na pag nagkaroon ulit ng head injury ay maaring mabalik ang memories. He’ll try that. Maybe pag medyo magaling na sya. Sa ngayon kasi ay masakit pa yung ulo nya because of the head injury that he got.

May dalang pagkain si Sehun pagbalik nito at agad na natakam si Jongdae after seeing his Tokyo-Tokyo take outs. He savored the delicious taste of the tempura while subconsciously staring at Sehun na kumakain din. Jongdae tried remembering him, even just for a bit but all he got was headache. Terrible headache. He’s clenching his fists as the immense pain envelopes him.

“Jongdae! What’s happening?! Are you okay?!” agad na lumapit si Sehun at hinawakan sa kamay si Jongdae. Tapos niyakap nya ito bago hinalikan sa bumbunan. “Shh. Relax, love. I’ll call your doctor.” He whispered, trying to calm Jongdae down. Sehun helped him lay on the bed before he pressed the button above Jongdae’s head to call for a doctor.

“My head hurts. So much.” Halos pabulong na na sabi ni Jongdae. Masyado iyong mahina para marinig pa ni Sehun kaya naman humawak na lang ito sa kamay ni Jongdae habang pareho nilang iniintay yung doctor. Naghahabol pa rin ng hininga si Jongdae habang si Sehun naman ay paulit-ulit na humahalik sa kamay nya, habang mahigpit ang hawak na para bang aalis bigla si Jongdae.

The doctor reminded him to take his medicines regularly to help with his memories and to not force himself to remember the things that he forgot because he might end up forgetting everything. Natakot si Jongdae sa sinabi ni Dr. Mercado. Natakot sya sa posibillidad na mas lalong hindi na bumalik ang mga nawala nyang alaala. He doesn’t want to forget anything kaya naman susundin nya kung ano yung sinabi nung doctor.

“Are you okay now?” Sehun asked after giving him a banana. Kasama iyon sa binili nito kanina. Jongdae took a bite first before he nodded. Tahimik nyang kinain yung saging habang nakatingin sa bintana ng hospital suite nya kung saan kita ang mga liwanag na nagmumula sa syudad. Hindi nya alam kung nasaan sila at iyon ang balak nyang itanong ngayon.

“Sehun, where are we?” kalmadong tanong ni Jongdae. He’s trying so hard not to anger Sehun dahil may pakiramdam syang hindi maganda sa taong ito even though he said that he is his husband.

“We’re in Naga City. Pero babalik din tayo ng Carles pag na-discharge ka na.” Sehun answered, not leaving his gaze on Jongdae, making the shorter uncomfortable. Napatitig lamang si Jongdae. He knows where Naga City is. Nagpunta na sila dito noon, when he was in college, to attend the Peñafrancia fiesta since his mother and auntie is a devotee. Pero hindi nya alam kung saan ang Carles.

“Carles? Why? And why are we here in Naga City?” he asked. Ngumiti si Sehun sa kanya bago ito muling nagsalita. And hindi alam ni Jongdae kung bakit sya nakaramdam ng panlalamig dahil sa mga ngiting ibinibigay ni Sehun.

“Love, you said it’s for the Peñafrancia festival since Mama Yeonseo was a devotee. We were on our way home when you were hit by a car while you’re crossing the road.” Sehun answered. Upon hearing his mother’s name, hindi naiwasang itanong ni Jongdae kung nasan ba ang mga magulang at kapatid nya. At kung bakit wala sila dito.

“Where’s Mommy and my brother?” Jongdae then asked. Matagal bago sya muling sinagot ni Sehun kaya naman nakaramdam ng takot si Jongdae. Pakiramdam nya ay hindi maganda ang sasabihin ni Sehun. “What? Sehun? Where are they?”

“Jongdae, Love… they’re gone.” Ilang beses na napakurap si Jongdae dahil sa narinig nya. What does he mean by gone? Gone as in moved to another place? Gone as in migrated to another country?

“What do you mean gone?” he asked. “Sehun, what do you mean gone?!”

“Love, they died 2 years ago. Mama Yeonseo was trapped inside your burning house and Jongin came to save her, trapping them both.”

Jongdae heart clenched. Kasunod noon ang pag-uunahan ng mga luha nya sa pagtulo. How can they be gone? Parang kahapon lang ay sabay-sabay pa silang kumain ng dinner and his Mama sent him to sleep with a glass of milk tapos si Jongin ay humingi pa sa kanya ng additional allowance the next morning. Ramdam ni Jongdae yung pagpunas ni Sehun sa mga luha nya na parang waterfalls kung makatulo.

“Love… I know you’ll cry a river once again after I told you about this.” Pag-alo ni Sehun sa kanya. Nanatiling nakayakap si Jongdae sa kanya na tuloy-tuloy pa din sa pag-iyak.

“They can’t be gone…” paulit-ulit nya itong sinasabi habang umiiyak sa balikat ni Sehun. Basa na nga ang damit ni Sehun dahil sa mga luha ni Jongdae pero hinayaan lang sya nitong umiyak at nanatiling nakayakap ito sa kanya.

\---------------

Jongdae is silent habang nasa eroplano sila papuntang Iloilo. It’s already been a week nang ma-discharge si Jongdae and wala naman syang nagawa kundi sumama sa asawa nya pauwi sa Carles. Sabi kasi ni Sehun ay doon daw sila nakatira dahil nandoon na yung bahay nilang mag-asawa. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung bakit doon sila napunta but when Sehun mentioned na malapit sa dagat yung bahay nila, Jongdae understood why.

He loves the beach and he told himself before that he wants to have a rest house near the sea. Ngayon ay hindi nya alam kung matutuwa ba sya or matatakot. Hanggang ngayon kasi ay hindi pa rin sya mapalagay kay Sehun. There’s something off about him and hindi nya alam kung ano.

Jongdae does not want to anger him dahil baka may gawin itong masama sa kanya. What if he kills him and throws his body under the sea? At this rate, it’s best to just follow him and do what he wants him to do.

The journey to their house in Carles is awfully tiring. Kaya naman pagod na pagod na si Jongdae nang makarating sila sa bahay nila. It’s a three story modern Victorian house. Kita ni Jongdae ang top to bottom glass windows sa second floor kung saan tanaw na tanaw ang dagat.

Sehun opened the front door and pinauna nyang pumasok si Jongdae. And malaking oil painting sa taas ng fireplace ang unang nakakuha sa atensyon ni Jongdae. He can see his face on the portrait, alongside Sehun. The taller was holding him and they are standing under an arc-like structure. Is that their wedding portrait?

“Welcome home, Love.”


	6. CHAPTER 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies, lies and more lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like this chapter is so poetic and i don't know how it turned out that way. hahaha but anyway here's chapter 5.
> 
> READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

**“The** portrait, who made it?” maingat na tanong ni Jongdae kay Sehun habang kumakain sila ng hapunan. Kanina pa kasi malayang naglalaro sa isipan ni Jongdae ang wedding portrait na bumungad sa kanya pagpasok nila ng bahay. It’s huge and it’s very detailed. Kuhang-kuha ang bawat detalye nilang dalawa. Simula sa intensity ng titig hanggang sa pinakamaliit na pilikmata. Jongdae is a skilled painter and he paints just like that. Kung kaya ay natanong nya kung sino ang gumawa ng portrait dahil baka marahil ay isa iyon sa mga bagay na nakalimutan nya.

“Love, it was you. You made our wedding portrait. I can still remember kung gaano katagal mo iyong ginawa. As soon as we moved here in Carles, you started sketching. And then afterwards, almost 7 months mo syang pinaint.” Paliwanag ni Sehun, his eyes never leaving him. That’s why Jongdae felt uncomfortable. Hindi nya maipaliwanag pero kada lalapitan at tititigan sya ni Sehun ay hindi familiarity yung nararamdaman nya. All he can feel is a strange feeling of being with someone whom he doesn’t know.

“Really?” yun na lang ang nasabi ni Jongdae bago nagpatuloy sa pagkain nya. He tried so hard not to capture Sehun’s attention dahil talagang nawiwirduhan sya sa taong ito. Has it always been like this? He claims na asawa sya nito pero bakit ganun? Hindi nya ramdam? Or more like he can’t really acknowledge Sehun as his “husband”. Yes, he showed him all the proofs, wedding rings, marriage certifications, even wedding photos. Pero there’s a part of him na ayaw maniwala. Na nahihirapang maniwala. What if Sehun is just taking advantage of the situation?

Nagprisinta si Jongdae na sya na yung maghuhugas ng mga kinainan nila and Sehun agreed since may trabaho pa daw itong gagawin. Accountant kasi si Sehun and right now, because of the accident, he is working from home to take care of him. While washing the dishes, Jongdae started thinking of escaping and running away. Mahirap yes, dahil hindi nya kabisado yung lugar and pangalawa, hindi nya alam kung paano sya hihingi ng tulong. He lost contacts with his best friend, Hyejin, he lost his family. So right now, he has no choice but to stay here and play along with what his husband wants him to do.

Jongdae was about to ask Sehun kung saan sya matutulog pero busy pa ito. He’s talking to some clients over the phone pagpunta nya sa study room katabi ng master’s bedroom kaya naman minabuti na lang si Jongdae na pumirmi sa balcony to enjoy the salty see breeze. Napapikit si Jongdae habang sinasamyo ang hangin at pinakikinggang ang malalakas na hampas ng alon. It’s already 8 in the evening kaya naman madilim na sa labas ng bahay. Ang tanging naaaninang na lang ni Jongdae ay ilaw na nanggagaling mula sa lighthouse na hindi kalayuan mula sa bahay nila.

Malayo ang agwat ng bawat bahay and it seems like that most houses here are just vacation houses so mostly ay walang mga tao. Kaya naman nagtataka si Jongdae kung bakit dito sya dinala ni Sehun. It’s impossible na wala silang bahay sa city. Sehun is an accountant. A person who has a job like his needs to live in the city for accessible resources like internet. Kaya naman nakapagtataka na dito talaga sila nakatira? In a beachfront?

Jongdae just leaned on the railings as he thinks. Sa ngayon ay napakaraming tumatakbo sa utak nya. Pero he’s not forcing himself to remember anything dahil sabi ng doctor ay makakasama iyon sa kalagayan. He was just advised to take his medicines and patiently wait for his memories to freely come back. Kaya naman eto sya, carefully enjoying what he has right now. But still afraid. Pero mukha naman kasing hindi sya sasaktan ni Sehun. He’s too patient with him, too giving. And isa pa, sa itsura ni Sehun ay mukhang hindi naman ito gagawa ng masama. Or more like, mukhang hindi sya nito gagawan ng masama. He looks so cute and he always smiles.

“Antok ka na, Love?” nagulat si Jongdae dahil sa biglaang pagsasalita ni Sehun sa likuran nya. Ni hindi nya nga ito narinig na pumasok sa loob ng kwarto. Kahit yung footsteps ay wala syang narinig! He’s like a stealthy cat! Is he always been like this?!

“You startled me!” reklamo ni Jongdae making Sehun laugh. Yung tawa na malakas at parang wala nang bukas. Tapos ay lumapit sya kay Jongdae at yumapos sa bewang nito. Jongdae can absolutely feel the heat coming from Sehun’s body sa paraan ng pagkakayakap nito sa kanya. Sehun is resting his chin on Jongdae’s shoulders, locking him between his body and the balcony railings. Jongdae can feel Sehun’s soft lips on his delicate skin. Ramdam nya rin ang maliliit na halik na iginagawad ni Sehun sa balikat paakyat sa leeg nya.

“I’m tired.” The latter whispered while continuously showers pepper kisses on Jongdae’s shoulder. Ganito ba talaga silang dalawa? Why do Jongdae can feel a slight awkwardness between the two of them? Bakit pakiramdam nya ngayon ay isang estranghero si Sehun na biglang lumapit at yumakap sa kanya. Hindi ba dapat hindi ganito yung maramramdaman nya? Hindi ba dapat kikiligin sya at matutuwa? Or something more than that?

“Uhm, then you should go to sleep?” sabi ni Jongdae. Hinahayaan nya lang si Sehun na yumakap at humalik sa kanya. Hinayaan nya lang na humigpit ang yakap ni Sehun at umakyat ang mga halik nito papunta sa gilid ng mga labi nya.

Jongdae met Sehun’s gaze as the latter started kissing the side of his lips, up to his nose and then down to his lips. Jongdae closed his eyes when Sehun started kissing him softly, nibbling his lower lip as his hands finds its way down, massaging Jongdae’s narrow and supple waist. The roughness of Sehun’s calloused hand contrasted his soft and baby-like skin. His mind is going haywire and his heart beating so fast as Sehun continues what he’s doing, kissing and nibbling and occasionally sucking his lip. He can’t feel this way! He shouldn’t feel this way!

But Jongdae can’t help how his stomach churns over Sehun’s touches. He lets out a moan as soon as Sehun left his lips and settled on his neck, licking and sucking a small part of his skin, making him tremble in both pleasure and slight tinge of fear. Fear from Sehun and fear for himself. Jongdae hold on to Sehun’s wide and rock-hard shoulders as the latter unbuttoned his pajama top, exposing his flawless shoulders and then kissing it afterwards.

Jongdae’s breathing became ragged as soon as Sehun’s lips reached his shoulders. He should be pushing Sehun away right now because this feels wrong. Everything seems so wrong but why does it feels so good? Why do the feeling of Sehun’s touch is making him shiver and it’s making lose his mind and sanity altogether? He should feel scared. He should feel afraid? But why is he not? Why is he moaning over his touches? Why is he savoring every kiss that Sehun planted on his body?

“Sehun…” Jongdae called Sehun’s name as the latter licked his clavicle. Right now, he feels like he’s falling into a rabbit hole, a bottomless pit where no one is there to help him get up. No one is there to save him. He’s falling endlessly as he succumb to the latter’s kisses. And he knows that this is not good. This will not be good.

Kaya naman he gathered up all his remaining courage and sanity and he softly pushed Sehun away from him. To save himself, to help himself habang kaya nya pa. Sehun then looked at him with content etched on his handsome face. Ngumiti sya kay Jongdae tapos sya din mismo ang nag-butones ng pajama top nito.

“Let’s sleep then, Love.” He said that sent shivers all over his being.

\-----------------

Hyejin is pacing back and forth sa harap ng mama at kapatid ni Jongdae. It’s been almost a month when Jongdae called off his wedding with Rob the cheater and left with only a note saying not to look for him. Yes. Nalaman nilang lahat na cheater si Rob when the woman he impregnated, aka his family friend Alisha, went to Tita Yeonseo’s house just to tell them na may anak na sila ni Rob. And she went a day before the supposed to be wedding.

So now they figured out on why Jongdae refused marry Rob and called off the wedding last minute. They were all happy na nalaman ni Jongdae yung pagtataksil na ginawa sa kanya before the wedding pero ngayon naman ay kinakabahan na sila dahil hindi nila alam kung nasan si Jongdae. No social media posts, no anything. Pero Jongdae regularly messages Tita Yeonseo naman.

Pero kasi, it’s impossible for Jongdae not to open his sns accounts. Very impossible. Kaya naman hindi mapalagay si Hyejin ngayon. There’s something wrong. She can definitely feel it.

“Ate Hye, upo ka na nga. Nahihilo ako sayo.” She heard Jongin said. Hindi naman ito pinansin ni Hyejin. What if may nangyaring masama kay Jongdae? What if he got stuck in an island?! Or what if nawala sya and he doesn’t know how to go back because he got mugged?!

“Tita Yeonseo, anong sabi ni Jongdae dun sa last message nya sayo? Did he mention where he is? Is he really okay?” Hyejin asked Tita Yeonseo. Natatawang tumango si Yeonseo.

“He is. May selfie pa nga syang sinned while he’s sunbathing diba? Don’t worry too much, Hyejin. My Jongdae is fine.” Yeonseo said pero hindi pa din mapalagay si Hyejin even with Tita Yeonseo’s reassurance. She thinks something is definitely off and she’s determined to figure it out.

“Ate Hyejin, baka yung hormones mo na ata yan.” Biro ni Jongin kaya inirapan na lang sya ni Hyejin.

\-------------------

How do the artists know that the perfect shade of blue fitted for the sea is cerulean? That it’s different from shade of blue that colors the sky? Or from the eye that has the color of blue? How did they know that? How did they figured that out?

Jongdae is currently staring at the sea, with a blank canvas standing just beside him, as he looks for an inspiration to paint. When Sehun caught him staring their wedding portrait for so many times, the latter figured that he wants to paint again. So the next day, he went out to town and pagdating nya ng gabi, may dala na syang mga canvas, easel, palettes, a whole set of oil based paints, paintbrushes of different sizes. Jongdae’s eyes sparked with glee as soon as he saw those things. Sa sobrang tuwa pa nga nya ay nayakap nya si Sehun.

And kaya kaninang umaga ay lumabas sya, dala yung painting materials nya, hoping to find something to paint as he stares at the sea. Pero magi-isang oras na ata syang nakaupo dito sa sun lounger na nasa ilalim ng malaking beach umbrella ay wala pa ding idea or kahit inspiration syang nakukuha. Malapit na nga syang maging tinapang Jongdae pero wala talaga kahit maliit na spark ng inspiration.

Jongdae had plans on getting back inside the huge modern Victorian beach house since tumutulala lang naman talaga sya dito sa labas at nagpapainit lang when saw Sehun looking at him from the balcony of his study room. Ramdam ni Jongdae yung intensity ng mga titig ni Sehun kahit na malayo ito. Ramdam na ramdam ni Jongdae ang intensidad ng mga titig ni Sehun sa kanya, na para bang tumatagos hanggang sa balat nya. Hindi nya alam kung iiwas ba sya or papanindigan ang matapang na pagsalubong sa mga titig ni Sehun.

In the end, Jongdae chose to look away and stare again at the wide, cerulean sea. The waves are calm and the waters reflects the sun rays making it look like crystals. The loose and powdery white sand is warm and kind of stingy under his feet. The air still smells salty and the wind is calm as it blows, making the surrounding coconut trees dance all over the place. The sound of the waves drenching the sand is mostly what Jongdae can hear second to his loud heart beats after having a staring game with Sehun.

Jongdae grabbed his charcoal pencil and started sketching on the white canvas as he tries to remember how Sehun looks from his point of view. He remembers the shape of Sehun’s eyes when he smiles so that’s where he started, followed by the thickness of his eyebrows when they start to form into a line, then his pointed nose and how high his nose bridge is, his strong jawline and how they move every time he sees him gritting his teeth when things doesn’t go on his way.

Using a wide brush, he finished the initial coat of the oil painting. He carefully applied the paint so it follows the outline sketch on the canvas. Jongdae focused more when he started applying the brushstrokes to fill in the shapes. He’s already covered in paint after he started mixing the paint color to achieve the proper hues and intensities that he wanted. He tried so hard to remember the color of Sehun’s eyes every time he stares into them. How they suck them towards nothingness. He clearly remembers that their color is brown, or more like hazel but Jongdae ended up painting Sehun’s eyes blue. Because it reminds him of the sea. Deep and calm. He carefully thinks of Sehun’s alabaster skin as he mixes up the colors. It’s close to the white sand covering his feet. It’s also warm to touch.

“Love, it’s past lunch time already. Let’s eat.” Jongdae heard Sehun said. Palapit na ito sa kaya so Jongdae immediately grabbed a beach blanket instead of the white cloth nearby and held it in front of the unfinished oil painting. He doesn’t like other people seeing his unfinished work. Tumawa naman si Sehun because of what he did. Amusement is evident on his face.

“Uhm, sure. Susunod ako. Wait lang.” he said. Nakangiti namang tumango si Sehun before leaving him. He threw once last glance at Jongdae, signaling him to follow bago ito pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Jongdae then grabbed the white cloth and covered the canvas, careful na hindi dumikit ang tela dun sa painting. And then iniwan nya ito at pumasok sa loob ng bahay.

Hindi na sya pinaghugas pa ni Sehun ng mga pinagkainan nila. He just told him to go back on what he was doing kaya naman sinunod na lang sya ni Jongdae. The paint is still wet kaya naman naupo na lang ulit si Jongdae sa sun lounger.

The bright, burning, yellow sun is prickling his skin. It’s hot and it’s making him sweat so he decided to go and bathe in the crystal waters. Jongdae smiled as he submerges to the warm waters. He lets himself float and then he swims back and forth. When rose up to grasp for air, he saw Sehun sitting on the sun lounger near the easel. Kinabahan si Jongdae dahil baka makita ni Sehun yung painting kaya naman agad syang umahon. Sinalubong naman sya ni Sehun dala ang twalya.

“Are you okay? Is there something wrong? Nagka-cramps ka ba?” Sehun asked. Umiling naman si Jongdae bago nagsalubong ang mga kilay nya at tinitigan ng masama si Sehun kaya naman nagtaka ito sa biglang inasal nya. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Tumingin ka ba? Tumingin ka ano!” he accused. Bitbit ang twalya na naka-pulupot sa katawan nya, ay tumayo si Jongdae sa tapat nung easel. “Umamin ka Sehun!” he said. Salubong na salubong ang kilay ni Jongdae kaya naman biglang natawa si Sehun bago nito kinuha ang isa pang twalya na dala nito at sinimulang tuyuin ang basang buhok ni Jongdae.

“I didn’t. Hindi ako tumingin. Promise.” He said in the middle of his laughs. Pero hindi convinced si Jongdae. Tawa kasi ng tawa si Sehun kaya feeling nya ay nagsisinungaling ito sa kanya kaya inirapan nya si Sehun.

“Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo dito?” he asked. Naupo si Sehun sa sun lounger and he pulled Jongdae so that he will sit on his lap. Hindi iyon inaasahan ni Jongdae kaya napasigaw pa sya. “Hoy! Ano ba yan! Mababasa ka!” he protested pero tila walang narinig si Sehun kaya naman hinayaan nya na lang ito.

“I saw you went into the water kaya dinalhan kita ng twalya. Baka mabasa yung carpet eh.” Sinamaan naman ni Jongdae ng tingin si Sehun dahil doon. “I’m kidding.”

“Sigurado kang hindi mo nakita ha?” Jongdae then asked again. Sigurista sya. Bakit ba?

“Yes, I didn’t.” Sehun said, a tiny smile is hinting on his face. “I will never lie to you.”


	7. CHAPTER 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drowning and can't get up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long since the last update. huhu i'm sorry. but here's Chapter 6!
> 
> READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

**Jongdae** is busy finishing the final coat for Sehun’s portrait. He prefers to be alone as he works so he stayed near the beach, under a large beach umbrella, not minding the heat coming from the sun. Jongdae smiles as he looks at his nearly done art. He likes how the colors turned out beautifully. He specifically adored the color of Sehun’s eyes in his portrait. It’s like he is looking right at the sea. He loved how he captured the calmness and depth of Sehun’s gaze every time catches him staring.

“Good thing I didn’t forget how to paint kase if that happens, my life would be so boring.” He told himself. Natapos na sya mag-apply ng final coat and he’s just letting it dry kaya naman naupo muna sya sa sun lounger and he took a few selfies since he’s really feeling beautiful today. Ewan nya ba. Maganda ang gising nya this morning plus he had a nice breakfast which includes chocolate chip pancakes, freshly squeezed orange juice and his favorite, sliced chilled bananas; all prepared by his husband.

Maaga kasing umalis si Sehun today dahil pupunta daw sya sa Estancia and gabi na syang makakauwi. Hindi naman nagtanong si Jongdae kung bakit pupunta sya dun but Sehun said na he has client meeting there. Kaya ngayon ay mag-isa lang si Jongdae pero iniwanan sya ni Sehun ng food na ire-reheat na lang. Late kasi syang nagising dahil tinapos nya yung pagpipintura sa frame na paglalagyan nung oil portrait kagabi.

Since mabagal ang data connection dito sa bahay nila dahil nga malapit na sila sa dagat, pinili na lang ni Jongdae na matulog after nyang kumain ng lunch. Masakit din kasi yung likod nya. Actually, ngayon lang sumakit yung likod nya after days of making the frame. Ramdam na ramdam nya yung sakit every time he’s moving. Kaya naman gusto nya na lang tapalan ng Salonpas yung buong katawan nya. He should’ve asked Sehun to buy him some. Para kasing wala nun sa medicine cabinet.

Well, kasalanan naman kasi ni Jongdae kaya masakit yung likod nya. Sehun offered to make the frame but he was too prideful and secretive to let him help. Ibibigay nya kay Sehun ang portrait na iyon kaya naman mas gusto nyang sya ang gagawa ng lahat. The making of the frame is really difficult because before ay katulong nya si Jongin.

Jongdae started to tear up upon remembering his deceased brother. It pains him na hindi nya maalala yung nangyari sa mama at kapatid nya. Na bakit sa laaht ng pwedeng makalimutan ay yung bagay pang iyon? Tuloy-tuloy ang ppag-agos ng luha sa mga mata ni Jongdae. Hindi nya napipigilan. Ang hirap pigilan. Hindi nya kayang pigilan yung pagdaloy ng sakit sa puso nya kada maaalala nya ang ina at ang kapatid.

Buong hapon na umiyak si Jongdae nakatingin sa malawak na karagatan. Kasabay ng pag-agos ng kanyang mga luha ay ang paghampas ng malalakas na mga alon sa buhangin. Kasabay ng kanyang pagdadalamhati ay ang pagsasayaw ng mga puno ng niyog sa ihip ng hangin. Damang-dama ni Jongdae ang lungkot at pighati kada sinusubukan nyang alalahanin ang nangyari sa ina at kapatid. Ngunit kaakibat ng kanyang pagpipilit na makaaalala ay ang pagdating ng sakit ng ulo nya.

His physician advised him to not force himself to remember things because it might damage all of his memories, na baka tuluyan nang hindi bumalik ang mga nawala nyang alaala. Pero makulit si Jongdae. Nagpilit syang alalahanin ang ito. Kaya naman sumakit ng sobra yung ulo nya.

Jongdae laid on the couch trying to alleviate the pain he’s feeling. Also, he occasionally massages his head, trying to soothe himself. The pain however, is not subsiding. Pero mas lalo lamang itong lumala. He should’ve listened to his doctor. Na sana ay hindi na lamang sya nagpilit pa. The pain he’s feeling is so terrible. Naiiyak na si Jongdae dahil parang hinahati sa gitna yung bungo nya.

Sa ganoong estado sya naabutan ni Sehun, crouching on the couch, wailing because of the terrible pain he’s feeling. Agad syang dinaluhan ng asawa at niyakap. Doon na tuluyang bumuhos ang mga luha ni Jongdae. He cried so hard on Sehun’s arms. Wala naming ibang ginawa si Sehun kundi yakapin lamang sya ng mahigpit.

“Love, what happened?” he calmly asked nang medyo kumalma na si Jongdae. Nakahilig lang sya sa balikat ni Sehun habang sumisigok. Sehun tried to stand para kumuha ng tubig pero hindi sya hinayaan ni Jongdae. Like a koala on a tree, Jongdae just clung on Sehun, preventing him from doing anything. Nanatili lamang syang nakadikit kay Sehun as the taller softly draws circles on his back.

“I tried to remember what happened to my mom and my brother. And it ended up bad.” Mahinang sabi ni Jongdae sa asawa.

Sehun cooked their dinner. Nakaupo naman si Jongdae sa high stool, watching him. Tahimik lang sya habang pinanonood si Sehun as his back muscles flex habang naghihiwa sya ng mga gulay. Jongdae swallowed the lump on his throat habang nakatitig kay Sehun. Good thing he was busy julienne-cutting the carrots kaya naman hindi nya nakikita yung internal distress ni Jongdae.

“Love, where are you going?” pagkuwa’y tanong ni Sehun dahil biglang tumayo si Jongdae at naglakad palabas ng kitchen. Hindi naman alam ni Jongdae kung anong isasagot nya dahil alangan naming sabihin nya na he’s fantasizing over Sehun’s back and he can’t deal with it anymore that’s why he’s leaving the kitchen dahil baka bigla na lang nyang masunggaban si Sehun, diba?

“Uh, magpapahangin lang sa balcony. Matagal ka pa naman bago matapos, right?” nanginginig na tanong ni Jongdae. And hindi nya alam kung nahalata ba yun ni Sehun. Pero kasi naghugas bigla ng kamay si Sehun tapos ay lumapit sa kanya. He held Jongdae’s hands and kissed the back of it, leaving the shorter stunned.

“Dito ka lang, Love.” Sehun said, smiling. Hinila nya si Jongdae pabalik sa kitchen and he made the shorter sit back on the high stool where he was sitting kanina. Kumuha sya ng apple juice sa ref and he poured Jongdae a glass of the said beverage. Tinanggap naman iyon ni Jongdae.

The gesture made Jongdae’s heart beat faster than usual. Ramdam nya yung pamumula ng mga pisngi nya dulot ng halik ni Sehun sa kanyang kamay as well as his smiles. His heart is beating so fast at the moment as he watches Sehun stir the what’s on the pot.

Hindi nya tuloy alam kung ganito na ba talaga sila noon pa man, kung ganito na ba talaga yung nararamdaman nya kada ngingitian sya ni Sehun. Because what he feels right now is so strange. He can’t recognize even a slight familiarity on what he feels right now. He doesn’t know if bunga lang ba ito ng aksidente or sadyang masyado lang syang overthinker. They’re already married for years, for God’s sake! He should have get used to Sehun being like thins and these things that he’s feeling for him because Sehun is his husband!

\--------------------

“What? We’re moving to Estancia? On Saturday?” medyo nagulat si Jongdae after Sehun told him that they were moving two days after now to Estancia, Iloilo dahil may office na sila Sehun doon. Well, hindi na sya nagtaka. Their house in Carles is too remote for Sehun to work properly. And isa pa, naaawa na sya kay Sehun every time he’s going home too tired because of the long drive.

“Yes, Love. Is that okay with you?” tumango na lang si Jongdae. Hindi naman sya makakahindi since Sehun’s job is on the line. Pero well, he’s gonna miss their beach front house. Yun lang naman.

Jongdae packed their things that night. Tinulungan naman sya ni Sehun. Per mostly ay mga damit lang naman yung dadalhin nila since their beach house is not up for selling naman. Sabi naman kasi ni Sehun ay may bahay daw sya sa Estancia making Jongdae question him. Gaano ba kayaman si Sehun for him to have multiple properties?

And so, Sehun said that he inherited his late father’s accounting firm kaya mayaman daw talaga sila. And their main office is already transferred in Estancia. Hindi na daw sa Manila dahil wala na daw balak pang manirahan si Sehun sa Manila. He wants a life here in the South with Jongdae. And honestly, napangiti si Jongdae sa sinabing iyon ni Sehun.

“Love, tulog na tayo, Bukas ka na mag-ayos. I’ll take a day off. I’ll help you.” Sehun said. Nakahiga na kasi ito sa kama nila, waiting for Jongdae to join him. Tumawa lang si Jongdae before shaking his head. Medyo madami pa syang aayusin, ilang suitcase pa iyon and isa pa, it’s just 10 in the evening. Maaga pa naman kaya madami pa syang pwedeng magawa.

“You can sleep now instead of waiting for me or help me para naman mas lalo kang antukin.” Jongdae suggested. Tawa lang ang isinagot sa kanya ni Sehun bago ito tumayo mula sa kama at tumulong na magtiklop sa mga damit na nasa couch na at ilalagay na lang sa suitcase. Si Sehun kase yung naglagay ng white cloths sa mga furnitures and mga naka-hang na paintings kanina kaya si Jongdae naman yung bahala sa pagliligpit ng mga damit.

“Sehun, I have a question.” Jongdae then said. Tumingin naman sa kanya si Sehun habang nagtutupi ng mga damit.

“What is it, Love?” the taller asked.

“If you have a house in Estancia all the time, bakit ditto mo ako sa Carles dinala instead na doon?” he asked. Patuloy lang si Jongdae sa pagtutupi ng mga damit nilang mag-asawa.

“I brought you here because I know the place will help in your fast recovery. And it did, right? You always felt so at ease and serene kada nakikita kitang nakatingin sa dagat.” Makahulugang sabi ni Sehun sa kanya. Tumango naman si Jongdae. “I don’t want to move out pero nagkaroon kasi kami ng malaking client that’s why we had to. I’m sorry, Love.”

Ngumiti naman si Jongdae bago naupo sa kandungan ni Sehun. The taller immediately snaked his arms on Jongdae’s slender waist and inhaled his neck. Maga-apat na buwan na silang magkasama sa iisang bahay at natutulog sa iisang kama that’s why Jongdae realized na wala namang masama if he’s gonna be sweet towards Sehun. He is his husband and isa pa, matagal na din naman silang kasal kaya wala namang nakikitang masama doon si Jongdae.

“I don’t mind moving to Estancia naman if it will help you, Sehun. Ako naman kaya yung walang work sa ating dalawa.” Natatawang sabi ni Jongdae. Sehun just smirked on what he said. Ramdam nya iyon dahil nakalapat sa leeg nya ang mga labi ni Sehun. Kaya naman ngayon ay tila may libo-libong boltahe ng kuryete ang dumadaloy sa mga ugat ni Jongdae. He’s feeling so high every time Sehun breathes on his neck. His toes slightly curled the moment Sehun traced the straight line from his nape down to his waist.

“You don’t have to work, Jongdae. I can perfectly provide for you kahit na sampu pa ang maging anak natin.” Biro ni Sehun kaya naubo si Jongdae. Nanlalaki ang mga matang tiningnan nya si Sehun, na tawa na naman ng tawa ngayon.

“Huy! Kilabutan ka nga sa sampu, Sehun!” tawa pa din ng tawa si Sehun kaya napangiti na lang si Jongdae. Sehun’s boisterous laughter resounded inside their room. Ang sarap-sarap talagang pakinggan kapag tumatawa si Sehun. Minsan nga ay gusto na lang syang patawanin ni Jongdae buong araw eh.

Maagang nagising si Jongdae kinaumagahan kahit na late na silang nakatulog na dalawa dahil tinapos na nila yung mga damit na dapat ilagay sa suitcase. Ilang suitcase din yon dahil sa dami ng damit ni Sehun. Yes. Mostly ay mga damit ni Sehun yung niligpit nilang dalawa.

Jongdae feels anxious habang nakaupo sya sa high stool na nasa kitchen counter. Itinaas nya na yung venetian blinds na nagsisilbing tabing ng top bottom glass windows kaya naman kitang-kita nya yung payapang dagat. Madilim pa dahil hindi pa sumisikat ang araw at malamig na malamig pa din.

The coldness of the salty sea air clings on to him as he sips down his morning coffee. Mamaya pa kasi sya magluluto ng breakfast nila. Jongdae felt a slight chill on his nape habang nakatingin sa labas kaya naman humigpit yung hawak nya sa mug.

Hindi nagtagal ay sumikat na din ang araw kaya naman naghanda na si Jongdae ng mga iluluto nya Wala nang laman yung ref since paalis na sila bukas. Yung tirang chicken na lang from this week’s groceries, isang pack ng bacon, ilang eggs at hotdogs na lang yung nandoon kaya naman Jongdae decided na iluto na yung bacons, eggs and hotdogs. Good thing madami silang tirang rice kagabi kaya naman nakapagluto pa sya ng kimchi fried rice.

Bandang 7:30 ng umaga nang magising na si Sehun. Jongdae is already for him at the dining area. Nanonood lang sya sa Netflix ng isang movie as he waited for his husband na magising.

“Good morning, Love.” He greeted. Binati din naman sya pabalik ni Jongdae. Sehun looks so handsome in his morning hair na magulo pa. A satisfied smile crept on his face after taking a sip of the coffee na ginawa ni Jongdae para sa kanya.

After nilang magbreakfast ay nag-ayos na ulit sila ng mga dapat ligpitin. Si Sehun ang nagpasok ng mga sun loungers nila sa living room habang si Jongdae naman ay nagpunta sa attic para kunin yung portrait nya ni Sehun. Hindi nya pa kasi naibibigay yun. Wala naman kasing okasyon kaya feeling ni Jongdae ay mawiwirduhan sa kanyan ang asawa if out of the blue nya itong bibigyan ng painting.

And so Jongdae decided na mamaya nya na lang iyon ipapakita kay Sehun. Kaya naman ibinaba nya na yung oil portait papunta sa kwarto nilang dalawa. It was still covered naman with a white cloth kaya okay lang na ibaba na.

Sehun is still busy outside kaya naman si Jongdae na yung naglinis ng first floor ng bahay. Konting walis-walis lang naman since nagpunta kahapon yung caretaker ng beach house nilang ito and she cleaned the house from the lanai to the attic dahil nga nasabi ni Sehun na lilipat na sila ng Estancia sa Sabado.

Kinahapunan, Jongdae took the chance to go for a swim for the last time bago sila umalis bukas. Sehun is in his study room, doing something kaya naman hindi na sya tinawag pa ni Jongdae. Pagabi na kaya naman maligamgam na yung tubig dagat tapos ay high-tide na din. Private property mostly yung mag kahilera nila kaya naman mag-isa lang si Jongdae na nagbababad sa dagat ngayon.

Sinusulit na ni Jongdae dahil baka matagal na ulit bago sya makaligo sa dagat dahil magiging busy na si Sehun. Well, he can borrow and drive Sehun’s car naman pero hindi nya kasi kabisado yung lugar kaya mas maganda kung kasama nya si Sehun.

Jongdae got immersed too much with the sea kaya naman hindi na nya napansin pa ang oras. Ni hindi nga nya napansin si Sehun na nakaupo na sa dalampasigan, pinapanood sya. Agad naming umahon si Jongdae at naupo sa tabi ng asawa na agad syang ibinalot sa tuyong twalya.

“Come to think of it…” he started.

“What is it?” tanong naman ni Sehun.

“I never saw you bathing in the sea! Halika na, maligo na tayo Sehun. Tapos ka naman na, right? Kasi nandito ka na nga eh.” Tumawa naman si Sehun sa sinabi nya. Inalis ni Jongdae ang twalyang nakabalot sa kanya bago yumakap kay Sehun. Sehun just hugged tighter kahit na nababasa sya. He also kissed the tip of Jongdae’s nose. Natawa ng kaunti si Jongdae dahil alam nyang maaalatan si Sehun dahil sa ginawa nito.

“Lasa akong dagat, Sehun.” Tawa ng tawa si Jongdae dahil kita sa mukha ni Sehun na naalatan nga sya. But then Jongdae’s jaws fell when Sehun took off his shirt and threw it beside him. Tapos ay hinawakan nya ang kamay ni Jongdae bago ito niyaya sa dagat. Umiling na lang muna si Jongdae dahil medyo napagod na sya sa kakalangoy. Kaya naman he just watched as Sehun skillfully dive at the deep waters.

Sehun’s milkish-white complexion is visible against the setting sun. Jongdae smiles every time Sehun waves at him. Tahimik lamang sya habang pinapanood ang asawa. He’s enjoying the taste of the lychee juice that’s engulfing his mouth. Dala ito ni Sehun nang bumaba ito galling sa bahay nila.

Panay ang tawag sa kanya ni Sehun pero umiling lang si Jongdae. Sa ngayon mas gusto nyang panoorin muna si Sehun na lumangoy. And at this rate, all he wants is to be a water droplet especially now that he can those cascading down Sehun’s toned body.

Jongdae shrugged the wanton thoughts. Oh my gosh. Since when did he start thinking like a pervert?! Yes, Sehun is his husband but still! It’s inappropriate pa din! Nahiya na lang din si Jongdae sa mga iniisip lalo na nung umahon na si Sehun at naupo sa tabi nya. This time ay ito naman ang humilig sa kanya. Ramdam ni Jongdae yung lamig ng hangin dahil medyo natuyo na sya ng konti

“Come on, Love. Let’s swim.” Yaya ni Sehun sa kanya and who is he to say no diba? Naunang tumayo si Sehun and then he extended his hand para tulungan si Jongdae na makatayo. Sabay silang lumusong, magka-hawak kamay at nakangiti sa isa’t-isa.

The water already reached Jongdae’s hips when Sehun hoist him up so he crossed his legs on Sehun’s hips. He is holding on his husband like a baby and Sehun carries him na parang wala syang kabigat-bigat hanggang sa mas malalim na parte ng dagat. Jongdae just buried his face on Sehun’s neck. The taller holds him tight, frozen on his place.

“Sehun…” Jongdae called. Hinarap naman sya ni Sehun and Jongdae took that chance to plant a soft kiss on Sehun’s lips. Sehun is surprised pero gumanti din naman sya ng halik. His right hand held Jongdae’s waist, supporting him while the other crawled up towards the shorter’s neck.

Jongdae inwardly moaned when Sehun inserted his tongue and started to deepen their kiss. His eyes are closed for he is savoring the sweet taste of Sehun’s kisses. Their tongues battled for dominance, and in the end it was Jongdae who surrendered. Sehun bit his lower lips softly before breaking up their mind-blowing kiss.

“Should we go back to the house, Love?” he asked. Jongdae slowly nodded.

\--

The hot kiss that their shared can’t seem to leave Jongdae’s mind. He can still clearly remember how soft Sehun’s lips were against his. The warmth coming from his touches, beating the coldness of the air and the water. How he held him tight so that he won’t fall.

Jongdae is already drying his hair using a cotton towel when he heard the bathroom door creaked open and it revealed a still wet Sehun. Mukhang kakaligo lang din nito and the only thing covering his glorious body is a black towel from his waist down. Napalunok si Jongdae and he tried not to stare habang nagpapatuyo ng buhok si Sehun.

But it’s so freaking difficult!

Lalo na kung kitang-kita mula sa reflection ng malaking salamin yung toned na likod ni Sehun. Parang ang sarap kalmutin. Parang ang sarap dilaan. Jongdae rolled his eyes at his wanton thoughts again. Masyado na bas yang tigang that’s why he’s having these perverted thoughts already?! Kahit na mag-asawa silang dalawa, mali pa din!

“I can feel you staring, Jongdae.” Jongdae felt a tinge after hearing his name coming out of Sehun’s mouth. There’s something about the way he said his name. It’s… it’s sexy and inviting and… slightly arousing. Umirap na lang si Jongdae bago nagmamadaling iniwan si Sehun sa banyo. Pero hindi pa sya nakakalabas ay agad nang nahawakan ni Sehun yung braso nya.

“Not so fast, Love.” He said in a very husky voice. Nagpadala sya sa paghila sa kanya ni Sehun hanggang sa iniupo sya nito sa sink. Sehun positioned himself in between his legs habang malamlam na nakatingin sa kanya that’’s why Jongdae couldn’t look at him in the eye. Masyado sya disturbed sa paraan ng pagtingin sa kanya ni Sehun. “Look at me, Jongdae.” Sehun ordered, kaya naman Jongdae immediately did what Sehun wants him to do.

The warmth of Sehun’s hand spread across his skin when Sehun touched his chin, tilting his head up dahil mas matangkad pa din si Sehun even though nakaupo na sya sa sink. Hindi na tuloy alam ni Jongdae kung saan sya titingin. Kung sa mukha ba ni Sehun o sa dibdib ba nito na naghe-hello sa kanya. But then Sehun tilted his chin higher for him to look at his face. Okay sa mukha daw titingin hindi sa dibdib. Noted.

Nakatingin lang silang dalawa sa isa’t-isa hanggang sa unti-unting lumapit sa kanya si Sehun. Jongdae opened his mouth to welcome Sehun’s dominant tongue. Sehun moved inside Jongdae’s mouth, making the shorter moan as his large hand creeped inside Jongdae’s shirt, caressing the soft skin. Jongdae crossed his legs on Sehun’s waist and pulled him closer.

Hindi na nagulat si Jongdae nang buhatin na sya ni Sehun palabas sa banyo papunta sa kama nilang mag-asawa. The soft mattress welcomed Jongdae’s back. Agad nyang hinila si Sehun palapit para ituloy ang naudlot nilang halik but the taller wanted him to remove his shirt first. Na agad naming sinunod ni Jongdae. He let Sehun remove his shirt and tossed it somewhere. Kitang-kita ni Jongdae ang pagsilay ng ngiti sa gwapong mukha ni Sehun pagkakita sa kanya.

“Love, do you really want to do this?” Sehun asked him while peppering tiny kisses all over Jongdae’s face, making the shorter laugh because it tickles. Jongdae kissed Sehun’s lips as a response to his question. He felt Sehun smiled before his lips travel downwards. It’s destination? Jongdae’s neck.

Jongdae moans every time Sehun licks a part of his skin. His moans became louder and louder as Sehun makes his way down to his already perked up buds. The sensation Sehun has been giving him is so overwhelming that he’s already losing his sanity with just his kisses. Kung sa halik pa lang ni Sehun ay nababaliw na sya, pano ka kaya pag main event na?

He can’t help to wonder if ganito ba talaga ang dulot ng mga halik ni Sehun sa kanya ever since. Kung ganito ba ang naramdaman nya when they first time did it. If the electricity flowing throughout his body was also there the first time they had sex. Ungol lang ang nagiging sagot ni Jongdae sa mga halik na iginagawad ni Sehun sa katawan nya. Jongdae’s eyes remained closed while moaning lewdly as Sehun abused his buds, nibbling and sucking one after the other. He keeps on calling the taller’s name and occasionally pulling his hair, informing him that he needs more.

Napadilat si Jongdae nang unti-unting hubarin ni Sehun ang pajama bottoms nya including his underwear. Jongdae immediately felt the coldness of the night as soon as he gets fully naked in front of his husband. Agad syang tinablan ng hiya nang magsalubong ang mga paningin nilang dalawa. Parang gusto nyang takpan na lamang ang sarili dahil sa hiya.

But Sehun’s gaze is burning. Jongdae can almost see the fire in Sehun’s eyes nang tingnan nya ito. And from his chest, Sehun’s lips travelled down again to his stomach, down to his thighs as he spreads Jongdae’s thighs slowly. Jongdae’s toes started curling when Sehun kissed his inner thigh. Hindi alam ni Jongdae kung sasabunutan nya ba si Sehun palayo doon or sasabunutan nya palapit. Sehun is worshipping him like a god.

“Sehun….no….” Jongdae said in between his moans nang maramdaman nya sa puson nya yung labi ni Sehun. He can hear Sehun’s soft laughter because of it. “I want to be the one to…to suck you. N-not the other way a-around…” mahina nyang sabi. Hindi din alam ni Jongdae kung saan nya kinuha yung lakas ng loob nya para sabihin ang bagay na yon. Pero atleast, sinunod sya ni Sehun.

And syempre, dahil nga nawala na yung hiya ni Jongdae, bumangon sya sa kama para hilahin yung towel na nakatapi lang sa bewang ni Sehun. His eyes widened when he finally saw Sehun’s hardness. Ilang beses syang napakurap at inisip kung paano nya kinaya yung size nun the first time they did it. Natawa si Sehun because of his reaction.

“There’s no turning back on this one, Love,” Sehun whispered on his ear. Jongdae slowly nodded as Sehun made him lick two of his fingers. He slowly moaned when Sehun’s long and hard fingers started to move on his hole, scissoring him open. Palakas ng nagiging ungol ni Jongdae habang pabilis ng pabilis ang paggalaw ni Sehun. Pahigpit din ng pahigpit ang kapit nya sa braso ni Sehun every time his fingers move in and out, reaching for his prostate in every thrust.

Jongdae so close to closing his legs but Sehun’s free hand keeps it open. He’s already near his ecstasy that’s why his voice is already echoing loudly inside the room. He repeatedly called Sehun’s name as loud as he can when he felt that he’s already near.

“Sehun! Oh! Oh! … I’m gonna.... come… ohhhh!!!” sigaw ni Jongdae pero hindi sya tinigilan ni Sehun. The taller keeps on abusing his hole and his prostate, navigating his fingers inside and out. Jongdae was not able to stop himself from cumming, with his cock, untouched. Thick, white spurts of semen came out of him.

Saka lang tumigil si Sehun. Jongdae immediately closed his legs when Sehun removed his fingers. Diretso sa bibig nito yung mga daliring kanina ay labas-masok sa pwet ni Jongdae. And hindi nya alam kung bakit mas lalong na-arouse si Jongdae dahil sa ginawang iyon ni Sehun. He was about to stand up but Sehun didn’t let him. The taller immediately hovered on top of him. Jongdae can perfectly feel Sehun’s hardness against his stomach. It’s poking him.

Sehun kissed his lip fervently while massaging Jongdae’s ass slowly. The shorter kissed him back with the same intensity that he wanted. Jongdae also opened his legs wide and waited for Sehun to position himself on his abused entrance. Jongdae moaned softly when Sehun brushed the tip of his cock on his hole. He’s teasing him. That’s why Jongdae opened his legs wider to give Sehun better access but the taller continued to tease him.

“Sehun, please…” Jongdae pleaded. He already spread his legs as wide as he can pero bakit ayaw pa ring ipasok ni Sehun?! Sehun laughed at his demise bago dumukwang para humalik sa labi ni Jongdae.

“This is gonna sting, Love.” He whispered. Tumango si Jongdae. And then he felt the tip of Sehun’s cock entering him. He’s not joking when he said that it will sting because masakit talaga. Jongdae can feel his hole stretching as Sehun makes his way in. A lone tear escaped on his eye because of the pain that he’s feeling. Sehun immediately kissed his tear while slowly massaging Jongdae’s waist to alleviate the pain. Pero wala ding talab iyon.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Bulong ni Sehun sa kanya. Hindi pa fully naipapasok ni Sehun pero halos maiyak na si Jongdae. Ganun ba talaga pag ang tagal na walang sex? Parang pang first time ulit yung sakit? Yumakap lang si Jongdae kay Sehun. He’s still not moving, just letting Jongdae get used to the size. Jongdae is clenching his hole making Sehun slowly moan.

“Sehun…move na please.” Mahinang sabi ni Jongdae. Sehun kissed him again on his lips before he started to move, slowly at first. Malaki yung kanya, baka mabigla si Jongdae.

The shorter started to moan when Sehun’s pace started to get faster. One long, loud moan every thrust along with occasional scratches on the taller’s wide back. Jongdae’s mind is going to haywire on Sehun’s every move. Hindi pa masyadong mabilis pero sapat na para mabaliw sya.

Their bed is creaking kada babayo si Sehun. Kasabay ng galaw ni Sehun ay ang malalakas na halinghing ni Jongdae. The tip of Sehun’s cock is already hitting his prostate making his toes curl. Paulit-ulit na din nyang nakakalmot si Sehun sa likod at sa braso habang patuloy ito sa paggalaw sa loob nya. The nerve-wracking sensation on sex is already eating him alive. Nakakabaliw, nakakawala sa sarili.

“Ah! Ah! Sehun! Oh…. Oh!”

The sound of their skins slapping added to the arousal that the both of them is feeling. Pauli-ulit si Jongdae sa pagtawag sa pangalan ni Sehun habang patuloy naman ito sa pagbayo sa kanya. Their bodies are coordinating to a dance that only the two of them knows. Jongdae moans as Sehun thrusts. Loud and lewd moans and groans from the both of them resonated through the whole room. Parang hanggang sa dalampasigan nga ay rinig ang mga halinghing ni Jongdae dahil sa sarap ng ginagawa ni Sehun sa kanya. The taller is fucking his ass hard while playing on his leaking cock until he came. Again.

Jongdae is already gasping for air pero hindi pa rin tumitigil si Sehun sa paggalaw. Mas lalo pa ngang bumilis ang paglalabas-masok nya habang patuloy pa rin sap ag-ungol ng malakas si Jongdae. Puno ng kalmot yung likod ni Sehun pero wala syang pakialam.

Sehun’s groans on his ears sounds like heaven. Sarap na sarap si Jongdae pakinggan ang bawat ungol ni Sehun sa tenga nya. He just came a while pero mukhang lalabasan ulit sya dahil sa mga ungol ng asawa.

“Love, I’m coming.” Sehun groaned. He increased his pace making Jongdae insane. Ungol na lang ang naisagot nya sa sinabi ni Sehun because he was too high on the sensation that he’s feeling.

Few more thrusts and he already felt Sehun came inside him. “Fuck, Jongdae.” He whispered bago sumubsob sa leeg ni Jongdae habang hinihingal. Sehun kissed Jongdae’s lips afterwards, his cock still inside him. They stayed like that for a while before Sehun stood up and withdrew his member from Jongdae’s hole. Beads of sweat feasted on Jongdae’s forehead but he’s smiling.

Jongdae laid on his husband’s chest as soon as he laid beside him. He’s happy and sated pero si Sehun ay mukhang hindi pa ata nakukuntento. Kita kasi ni Jongdae mula sa kumot na may tumatayo na naman since they’re both naked pa din.

“Sehun, let me sleep.” He whispered. His eyes are already heavy due to the exhaustion after having sex with his husband. Tumawa lang naman si Sehun bago humalik sa noo ni Jongdae.

“Okay. I’ll just wake you up later, Love.” He teased. Umirap na lang si Jongdae before he snuggled closer for some warmth. “Good night, Love.” Sehun whispered before planting a soft kiss on Jongdae’s lips.

“Good night, Sehun.”

\------

Late nang nagising si Jongdae. Mataas na sikat ng araw na nga ang gumising sa kanya. Paano ba naman, ginising talaga sya ni Sehun around 3am. Devil’s hour nga naman kaya ayun. Nademonyo sya ni Sehun. Hindi sya tinigilan hanggang hindi na sya halos makadilat sa pagod.

Dahan-dahang bumangon si Jongdae dahil ramdam nya yung sakit sa lower back nya. Pinulot nya mula sa sahig yung pajama top nya na initsa ni Sehun kagabi at isinuot iyon. Diretso naman sya sa cr para maghilamos. Sehun cleaned him up bago ito makatulog kaya naman mamaya na lang sya maliligo. He just wants to eat right now.

Pagbaba nya sa kitchen ay nagluluto na ng panaghalian si Sehun. Pajama bottom lang ang suot nito so the scratch marks from last night are so visible against Sehun’s complexion. Jongdae smirked because of that. Mas lalo tuloy nagging gwapong tignan si Sehun sa paningin nya dahil doon. The scratch marks made him look so sexy.

Agad syang lumapit kay Sehun at yumakap sa bewang nito. The he kissed the marks the he gave. He felt Sehun stiffened kaya naman itinuloy lang ni Jongdae yung ginagawa nya bago nya narinig na tumigil si Sehun sa paghihiwa ng mga ingredients.

“Love if you will keep on doing that, I will take you right here. Hindi tayo makakakain na dalawa dahil ikaw ang kakainin ko.” Sehun warned. Tumawa lang si Jongdae bago bumitaw kay Sehun. He just kissed the taller’s cheeks bago tuluyang humiwalay kay Sehun para kumuha ng tubig sa ref.

“Eat me, later.” Sabi ni Jongdae followed by a laugh. Joke lang yun pero baka seryosohin ni Sehun. Wala naman syang reklamo dun.

“Sure. I will definitely eat you later, Love.” Sehun said, his voice laced with lust as well as his gaze. Tumawa na lang si Jongdae. Alam nya kasing tototohanin yun ni Sehun. Again, hindi naman sya magrereklamo.


	8. CHAPTER 7  (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No turning back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait for a long time for the update.

Hyejin took a deep breath paglabas nya ng Iloilo International Airport. The Visayan air is finally hitting her. Nakaka-miss pala ang amoy ng pollution sa Manila. Dito kasi ay hindi masyado. Mas nangingibabaw pa din ang amoy ng kapunuan and all. After surveying the place, she just got into, Hyejin immediately looked for the staff na hinire ng company nila na maghahatid sa kanya sa tutuluyang hotel sa Estancia.

The trip to Estancia is tiring. And good thing ay wala namang naging problema sa hotel na tutuluyan nya kaya naman nakapag-pahinga sya agad. May bagong project kasi yung company nila and since nandito na sa Estancia ang main office ay dito na sya pumunta. Naging mainit na usapan sa office nila kung bakit naglipat ng main office yung firm nila. Dati kasi ay nasa Ortigas ang main branch and then suddenly, their heads got a memo from the CEO asking kung sino yung mga willing mailipat sa Iloilo branch, with free accommodation, car and mas mataas yung salary.

She was almost willing na magpalipat na din kaya lang she was thinking of her best friend. Baka kasi biglang umuwi si Jongdae. Ayaw namang mangyari ni Hyejin na uuwi yung best friend nya tapos ay hindi sya nito maaabutan sa Manila. That’s why she stayed. Isa pa, hindi naman kakailanganin ni Hyejin yung sobrang laking salary eh. She’s happy with the amount she’s earning right now. Wala naman syang kapatid na pinapaaral since she’s an only child. Tapos her parents are already both in Canada. Matagal na nga syang pinipilit na sumunod sa kanila but she feels na Canada is not for her.

Saturday ngayon and sa Monday pa officially magsa-start yung agenda ni Hyejin dito sa Estancia kaya naman she just chose to sleep instead of going out. She’ll gonna stay here for a month naman kaya she has lots of time to explore the place. Madami ngang nakikipag-palit sa kanya but hindi sya pumayag. Aba! This business trip is company paid! Bakit sya aayaw right?!

Before she went to sleep that night, she sent a photo of herself on Jongdae’s viber account informing him na nasa Estancia for a business trip. She even suggested the place to him na susunod nilang puntahan pagbalik nito ng Manila. Of course, Jongdae didn’t reply. Ni hindi nga nito sini-seen ang messages nya for almost a year now. Tangina kase. Wala bang internet sa pinuntahan ni Jongdae?! Nasan na ba kasi yung lalaking yun?! Nag-camping at nawala ba sya?! Namundok na?!

Hyejin also replied to Jongdae’s younger brother na si Jongin, who two years younger than her, kasi he keeps on asking kanina pa kung nakarating na daw sya and what is she doing. Si Jongin din kasi yung naghatid sa kanya sa airport kanina. Hyejin can’t figure out nga kung bakit ang daming time ni Jongin na mangulit sa kanya as if he’s not busy with his own work.

“Ano na naman? I already told you. Matutulog na ko, Jongin. Why did you call pa?” Hyejin asked. She’s not irritated naman. Just slightly annoyed kasi she’s already sleepy na tapos iistorbohin pa sya nitong kapatid ni Jongdae. Ni hindi na nga maaalala ni Hyejin kung paano sila nagging close ni Jongin. Basta napansin nya na lang kada pupunta sya sa bahay nila Jongdae to visit Tita Yeonseo ay laging si Jongin ang sumasalubong sa kanya, nagbubukas ng gate even though Tita Yeonseo gave her duplicate keys sa bahay nila.

“Tinatanong ni Mama kung kumain ka na daw ba, Hyejin.” See? Jongin is not even calling her ‘Ate’. Hyejin na lang talaga syya for him.

“10pm na Jongin. Syempre kumain na ako. Ano ka ba? Matulog ka na kaya.” She said. Tumawa lang si Jongin as a response to what she said. Ibaba na sana nya yung phone kase magda-dalawang minuto nang tahimik si Jongin nung bigla itong nagsalita.

“Good night, Hyejin.” He said. Hyejin told him the same words bago nya ibinaba yung tawag at pinatay yung lamp sa bedside table nya.

\------------

Hyejin checked her phone for the third time already, waiting for a call or message ng boss nya na nasa Manila. Nandito kasi sya café na malapit sa building kung saan na located yung company nila. She’s an hour early dahil kinakabahan sya. Mas mabuti na kayang maaga kesa sa late. So right now, she’s just casually sipping her coffee habang nakatingin sa mga dumadaang sasakyan sa tapat ng café.

“Holy fuck…” Muntik maibuga ni Hyejin yung kape dahil sa nakita nya. She even pinched her arm because of it. Masakit! So it means she’s not dreaming! And what she saw was real! Agad-agad na tumayo si Hyejin dala-dala yung bag at mga files nya at dumiretso sa building kung saan located yung company nya.

“Jongdae!” she called. Halos takbuhin nya na nga yung daan dahil papasok na si Jongdae ng building at may kasama itong matangkad na lalaki. The taller man is holding his best friend’s hand and Jongdae is laughing at something na sinabi nung may hawak sa kamay nito. “Jongdae Kim!” she yelled again. Doon na lumingon si Jongdae. Gulat na gulat pa nga ito.

“Hyejin! Hyejin! Oh my god! I missed you!” Hyejin was immediately enveloped by Jongdae’s hug. She was almost crying because of so much happiness. Her best friend is finally here, in front of her. After almost a year of not seeing him. Tahimik lang na yakap ni Hyejin yung best friend nya, wala syang pakialam kung nasan silang dalawa.

“I missed you! Nandito ka lang pala sa Estancia! Why didn’t you tell me!” tila nagtatampong sabi ni Hyejin, hindi pa rin bumibitaw kay Jongdae.

“Huh? Sehun, is it one of the things that I’ve forget ba?” baling ni Jongdae sa lalaking kanina ay may hawak ng kamay nya. Nagulat naman si Hyejin. What the fuck?! Paanong kilala ni Jongdae yung boss nya?! And why does it seem that they are in a relationship or something?!

“I think so, Love.” Nanlaki yung mga mata ni Hyejin dahil sa naging endearment ni Mr. Oh sa best friend nya. What the hell is happening?! Madami nang tumatakbo sa utak ni Hyejin ngayon and she just wants to talk to his best friend to get answers from every question that she has.

“Miss Hyejin Ahn? From Manila branch? Sa conference room na po tayo.” Napatingin si Hyejin sa nagsalita sa likod nya. It was Mr. Oh’s secretary na kausap nya kanina via phone call.

“Sehun! Why didn’t you tell me na si Hyejin pala ang ka-meeting mo today!?” Baling naman ni Jongdae sa boss nya. Gulat na gulat na lang talaga si Hyejin. Hindi nya alam kung pano nya ida-digest na her best friend is dating her boss! How the hell did that happen?! Kaya ba nandito sa Iloilo si Jongdae?! Kaya ba halos wala syang paramdam for almost a year?!

“Love, let’s talk about it later, okay? Miss Ahn and I have to talk about business first. Magpapahatid ka na ba sa bahay or you’ll go to the mall first?” Hyejin can’t help but to stare at the two. Mr. Oh looks at Jongdae so tenderly, yung tingin na punong-puno ng pagmamahal. Yung tipo ng tingin na hinanap ni Hyejin sa ex ni Jongdae na hindi nya nakita.

“Okay. I’ll wait for you at home na lang.” Jongdae even kissed her boss and niyakap sya bago ito magpaalam, promising na magkikita soon to catch up.

Ramdam ni Hyejin yung nakakatakot na aura ni Mr. Oh Sehun habang nandito silang dalawa sa conference room. They should be talking along with the other head of the company pero Mr. Oh requested to talk to her first. And hindi nya alam kung bakit.

“Jongdae has a retrograde amnesia. And all he can remember was the things that happened dated from your college graduation.” Nagulat si Hyejin sa narinig nya. What happened?! How come na Jongdae has a retrograde amnesia?!

“So you’re lying to him? Hindi ka namin kilala. And impossible na wala pang isang taon ay ganun na agad si Jongdae sayo! What did you do to him?! Anong binabalak mo sa best friend ko?! Why are you using his retrograde amnesia against him!?” sigaw ni Hyejin. Hindi nya alam kung saan nya ba nakuha yung lakas ng loob para sigaw-sigawan yung boss nya. But it’s Jongdae that they’re talking about here! This man, her boss, is taking advantage of her best friend’s illness! Hindi nya alam kung gaano na ba sila katagal na magkakilala pero pakiramdam ni Hyejin ay matagal nang niloloko ni Oh Sehun ang best friend nya!

“Miss Ahn, be careful of your accusations. Baka hindi ka na makabalik pa ng Manila.” Hyejin shivered because of Oh Sehun’s threat pero hindi nya ipinahalatang natatakot sya. Napalunok si Hyejin nang maupo sa couch na nasa harap nya si Oh Sehun. “Now, Miss Ahn, since Jongdae is both precious to us, why don’t we talk about him?”

Hyejin maintained her straight posture. Hindi sya papasindak kay Oh Sehun kahit pa he just gave her a not-so-empty threat. She’s now deciphering what Oh Sehun meant when he said that Jongdae is both precious to them. Hindi pa din talaga sya naniniwala na they are really in a relationship! Knowing Jongdae! Or talagang ginamit ni Sehun ang retrograde amnesia ni Jongdae para pasunurin ito?

At this point, Hyejin just want to talk to her best friend. Malakas kasi ang pakiramdam nyang walang alam si Jongdae sa mga nangyayari at sa ginagawa ni Sehun. Jongdae needs to go home! And she needs to tell Tita Yeonseo and Jongin about him! Na nandito lang si Jongdae sa Estancia all this time that he was gone!

“You will not tell Jongdae the truth, Miss Ahn.” Hyejin suddenly had her eyes on her boss. What did he say?!

\----------------------

“Sehun, can Hyejin visit me here?” pagpapaalam ni Jongdae. Katatapos lang kasi nilang kumain ng breakfast dito sa lanai. It’s already weekend and limang araw na rin makalipas ng pagkikita nila ni Hyejin sa company ng asawa nya. Nagtampo pa nga si Jongdae nun dahil hindi man lang binanggit ni Sehun na Hyejin works for him after all this time. But in Sehun’s defense, hindi nya daw kilala yung lahat ng employees nya and Hyejin is probably a new hire kaya hindi ito kilala masyado ni Sehun.

“Sure. As far as I know, uuwi na si Hyejin next week sa Manila. Gusto mo ba ipasundo natin sya ngayon sa hotel room nya?” Jongdae gave his husband a wide smile before leaning to give him a soft peck on the cheek na nauwi sa pagupo ni Jongdae sa kandungan ni Sehun.

“Don’t scare her, okay? Hyejin’s my bestest friend.” Natatawang sabi ni Jongdae. His husband just nodded. Tinapos na ni Jongdae yung dessert nilang sliced muscat grapes and bananas.

Bago mag-tanghali ay nagpaalam na si Sehun na pupunta daw muna sya sa golf club for him and Hyejin to have their privacy. Sehun promised naman na he will be back before dinner. So Jongdae cooked lunch for Hyejin. Medyo dinamihan nya nga dahil medyo namayat si Hyejin. She arrived at past 11 dahil medyo natraffic daw. May dala syang cake for dessert kaya naman natuwa si Jongdae dahil nakalimutan nya palang magpabili ng chocolate cake kay Sehun bago ito umuwi.

“Hyejin? Bakit tahimik ka? As far as I remember, you were not the silent type between the two of us.” Puna ni Jongdae pagkatapos nilang kumain ng lunch. Hyejin’s silence is quite alarming because she’s not usually like that. Tapos sa tingin pa ni Jongdae ay maraming tumatakbo sa isip ni Hyejin.

“Jongdae, are you really happy here? With Sehun?” nagulat si Jongdae sa naging tanong ni Hyejin. It was unexpected pero Jongdae realized na baka Hyejin is just concerned with his wellbeing. Matagal din silang hindi nagkita kaya normal lang naman yun, diba?

A smile formed on Jongdae’s lips bago sya nagsalita. “I am happy here, Hyejin. Sehun takes care of me well, he’s a great provider and mahal ko sya, Hyejin.” Nakangiting sagot ni Jongdae.

\------------

Matamlay na ngumiti si Hyejin bago tuluyang pumasok sa boarding gate. Her Iloilo business trip is finally over kaya naman uuwi na sya ng Manila. And Jongdae volunteered na ihatid sya sa airport. Of course, kung nasaan si Jongdae ay nandun din yung demonyong asa-asawahan nitong si Sehun. The couple smiled at her nung lumingon ulit sya. Jongdae even waved at her.

Mabigat ang loob ni Hyejin nang makaupo na sya sa designated seat nya. She doesn’t want to leave Jongdae here with Sehun pero ano nga bang magagawa nya? Sehun is very capable on making sure that his threats will come to life. Pero kasabay ng pangamba ay nandoon din ang mumunting tuwa kay Hyejin para sa matalik na kaibigan.

She saw how Sehun looks at her best friend. It’s like Jongdae is Sehun’s everything. Tama nga yung sinabi ni Jongdae na ‘Sehun takes care of him well.’, dahil totoo nga iyon. Sehun is very attentive with him, he listens to every word that Jongdae says, smiles at almost everything that he does. Kitang-kita ni Hyejin na yung mga ipinapakita ni Sehun sa best friend nya ay totoo. Walang halong kasinungalingan.

Sehun does everything na hindi nakita ni Hyejin kay Rob. Mukha ding mahal na mahal nya si Jongdae kaya hindi lubos maisip ni Hyejin kung bakit kailangang gawin ni Sehun yun. Jongdae would’ve fallen deeply for him kung mas nauna nyang nakilala si Sehun kesa sa putanginang ex nitong manloloko.

**_“You can’t tell Jongdae’s family that he’s here, in Estancia. I would know if you do, Miss Ahn.” Hyejin blinked for a few times. Seryoso ba tong si Sehun?! Tita Yeonseo and Jongin would have been very delighted pag nalaman nila na nandito lang si Jongdae! Gago ba tong lalaking to?!_ **

****

****

**_“Why shouldn’t I?” she bravely asked. Sehun flashed a sinister smile. Naramdaman pa nga ni Hyejin yung pagtayo ng mga balahibo nya dahil doon. What is he planning?! Shit. Ano ba kasi tong pinasok ni Jongdae?! Good lord! Bakit ba nya nakadaupang-palad ang taong to?!_ **

****

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**_“Because as far as Jongdae knows, his mother and brother already died. And you will not tell her anything, Miss Ahn. Because Mount Sinai Hospital that’s located in Toronto has great Filipino nurses, right?” nakuyom ni Hyejin ang mga kamay nya. Sehun is evil! Fucking evil!_ **

****

****

**_“Not, my parents, Sehun.” Hyejin warned. Tumawa lang si Sehun bago naglapag ng brown envelope sa harapan nya. Hyejin kind of expected to be a check but it’s a contract. Na hindi gagalawin ni Sehun ang parents nya hangga’t wala syang sinasabi sa pamilya ni Jongdae._ **

****

****

**_Hyejin is so close to tearing the papers down pero naisip nya ang sariling mga magulang. Sehun is very capable of doing something to them, of hurting them and putting them in grave danger. He’s rich and powerful. I’m so sorry Tita Yeonseo, Jongin; but it’s a matter of my silence and family._ **

Tahimik lang si Hyejin habang nasa sasakyan sya. Jongin fetched her from the airport and kada titingin si Hyejin sa kapatid ni Jongdae ay gusto nyang maiyak. He and Tita Yeonseo fell for Sehun’s lies. She badly wants to tell the truth but she’s scared for her own parents and their safety.

“Are you tired? Gusto mo bang daan muna tayo ng Tim Horton’s?” tanong ni Jongin. Umiling si Hyejin at isinandal na lang ang ulo nya sa bintana. Nahihiya sya. Nahihiya sya kay Tita Yeonseo at kay Jongin. All they showed her was love like their own family member pero ito pa ang igaganti nya? Itatago nya pa sa pamilya ni Jongdae ang totoo?!

“I’m sorry, Jongin.” She said bago sya bumaba ng sasakyan. Hindi nya na hinintay pa si Jongin na makababa at sya na din ang kumuha ng suitcase nya sa trunk ng sasakyan nito. Jongin tried to follow her pero mabilis na nakasakay ng elevator si Hyejin kaya hindi na sya nahabol pa ni Jongin.

Pagdating nya sa condo nya ay bumuhos na lang ang mga luha galing sa sariling mga mata. Umiyak lang ng umiyak si Hyejin buong gabi, habang patuloy ang paghingi ng tawad sa kapatid at ina ng best friend nya.

\-----------------

Jongdae is feeling bad as soon as he wakes up. Nasusuka sya at pakiramdam nya ay ummiikot ang buong paligid nya. Muntik pa nga syang mabuwal pagtayo nya sa kama nila. Good thing Sehun was there para alalayan sya hanggang sa bathroom where Jongdae emptied his guts out. He can feel the coldness of the tiled floor dahil halos nakaluhod na sya sa toilet bowl dahil sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam nya. He feels nauseous, he just wants to puke but at the same time, his head continues to spin.

“Love, what’s happening? I know you’re not okay so come on, I’ll bring you to the hospital.” Rinig nyang sabi ni Sehun. Pumayag na lang si Jongdae. Magbibihis pa nga sana sya since he’s just wearing his pj’s pero binuhat na sya ni Sehun papunta sa sasakyan.

Kaya naman pagdating nilang dalawa sa ospital ay pinagtitinginan silang dalawa dahil pareho silang nakapantulog pa. Diretso sila sa physician ni Sehun but the doctor advised them to go to the OB-Gyne na nasa kabilang end ng hall.

Jongdae is scared and at the same time hopeful. What if he’s pregnant? Ano kayang magiging reaction ni Sehun? Pero ayaw munang umasa ni Jongdae na nagdadalang-tao sya dahil ayaw nyang ma-disappoint sa huli.

“Sehun, I’m quite hopeful na buntis nga ako. But what if I’m not?” kinakabahang sabi ni Jongdae. Hinagod ni Sehun ang likod nya, soothing him, as they wait for the OB-Gyne for the results ng pregnancy test sa kanya. Jongdae’s hands are already cold dahil sa kaba and siguro na rin ay dahil sa hindi pa sya nagbebreakfast. Wala pa ding laman ang tyan nya aside sa Pocari Sweat na binili sa kanya ni Sehun kanina.

“Love, whatever the result is, what matters is that your healthy and you’re fine. If you’re pregnant then it’s a great news. If you’re not, edi let’s try again.” Sabi ni Sehun. Gusto na lang tumawa ni Jongdae. How can Sehun be so optimistic about this? The doctor arrived after 30minutes kaya naman mas lalong nadagdagan ang kaba na nararamdaman ni Jongdae. Humigpit ang hawak nya sa kamay ni Sehun but the latter just caressed his thigh, signaling him that everything’s going to be fine.

The two of them were silent habang iniintay ang sasabihin ng doctor. Jongdae’s heart is beating so loud and his hands are terribly shaky and cold. Habang si Sehun naman parang chill lang. Malapit nang mairita si Jongdae dahil ang tagal-tagal sabihin nung doctor yung resulta samantalang kanina nya pa binabasa! Huminga ng malalim si Jongdae nang tumingin sa kanila yung doctor.

“Congratulations, Jongdae is already 2 months pregnant.”


End file.
